Sunflower Eyes

The Tale of a Dresser. Or, How to Make a Nesting Mama Happy.

2012-02-14T12:48:00.000-08:00

Once Upon a Time, there was a dresser. Just an ordinary dresser, given to a young couple by her parents when they no longer needed it. The young couple DID need it, and were grateful...and the young wife kept thinking to herself, "One of these days, I'm gonna re-do that dresser!"
There wasn't really anything wrong with it. It was just, well, a bit outdated.

Fast forward a few years. The young couple moved to a new state...and in the process of moving and then sitting in storage for 4 months, the dresser received a huge gash across its top.

(It's kinda hard to see in this picture, but look at the top left area...the gash was at least 1/4 in. deep, too.)

Since the dresser now HAD to be re-done in order to be ~~useable~~ ~~attractive at all~~ appealing as bedroom furniture; the wife began to plan. And the husband began to sand.

And the children were put in a cage until the project was completed (KIDDING!! we don't have a cage in our yard...just a little trampoline B got for her birthday from my parents. They love it.)

The wife tried to help with the sanding; but after a half-hour one afternoon which gave her some lovely contractions, she decided to wait on her husband to finish. So she waited each day while he was at work....rather impatiently, albeit silently. She was mostly just happy that the dresser was being sanded.

Finally, the wife went to that wonderful, big orange store and bought a paint sample can of grey paint for $2.47. This made the wife very, very happy.

And then the painting began...which also made her very happy.

(I think this face is genetic...although she is MUCH cuter when she makes it!)

The wife had been having some more lovely contractions that day; but decided that either she was just going to feel this way for the rest of her pregnancy, or the baby was really going to come early...in which case she'd very much like to have the dresser finished. So she painted. And then she and the husband grabbed some sand paper, and distressed the dresser a bit. And painted the once-bronzeish feet bright red, cause that's just fun.

And then the husband muscled the dresser upstairs by himself somehow (mostly), and they put it in its place; and that made the wife very happy, too. The wife likes to think that the dresser is also pretty happy with it's new look.

Very happy, indeed.

26, 27....32 weeks.

2012-02-13T13:49:00.000-08:00

Hi, Babylove. It's been...way, way too long since Mama has done one of these updates. But you're been BUSY! And by busy, I mean that 3 days after we got home from your Grammy and Grandaddy's for Christmas, we got on an airplane to fly to Paris, France for 2 weeks. See, your Daddy is half-French...your PePe is Parisian. It's a part of who you are. And we had the chance to (finally) go over and visit for a good long time. So we went. It was a great trip, Babylove...you got to do so many cool things! I can't say you SAW them, because, well...you didn't. But your Daddy and brother and sister and Aunt CeCe and Grammy and I did. See? You went to the Eiffel Tower...and watched it sparkle from the windows of our apartment.

...All the way to the very top of the Tower!

And you went to the top of the Arc de Triumph.

We walked along the Seine to Notre Dame, and chased pigeons in the Tuiliere Gardens. You went with Grammy and I to the Louvre, and sat with me in Monmarte while my picture was drawn by a French artist. Pax sat with us, too...he didn't quite trust the artist and thought we might need some protection. We ate lots and lots of delicious pastries, rode the metro, and walked down the Champs de Elysee. And you and I took naps, Babylove...doing all this at 6 1/2 months pregnant was super fun, but not always easy :) My ankles were huge by the time we landed back home again. Since we got back, we've mostly been unpacking boxes, organizing our new home, and refinishing furniture. Those last two pictures, the ones of you and me and your big sister, are from this last weekend-I'm 32 weeks pregnant now. 8 months-ish. They moved my due date up a week, because of your size...I KNEW you were bigger than the other two! My belly is now bigger than it was when I delivered your sister AND your brother. And I have 8 weeks to go still...it's hard for me to imagine how big we are going to get! They tell me you will come around Easter, now. A week earlier. I'd like that very much, Babylove...I'm so ready to hold you in my arms instead of in my belly! Although your room isn't quite ready yet, it WILL be. Soon. And soon, we will have a name for you, too...

Of Birthday Cakes and Beds.

2012-02-09T14:12:00.000-08:00

Obviously I've been MIA for...well...a long time. There are lots of good reasons for the lack-of-blogging; but instead of going into all that right now I'm just gonna jump into some of the posts that I HAVE to get on here before it's too late...like my daughter's 2nd birthday. Because, being the 2nd child, if I go any longer without blogging about it I may hear about it when she's 15...(You don't love me as much as you love Pax! You blogged about HIS 2nd birthday the day after it happened! sob, sob...you get the idea. Pretty much we're just doing our best to raise a secure daughter who only flips out occasionally as a teenager...and blogging about things on time (ish) falls into that category. Betcha didn't know that, did ya?)

Blythe actually had the longest birthday she will probably EVER have this year...we started out in Paris, left there about 12 Paris time; flew to Chicago; then on to the Valley of the Sun. We landed here about 10pm our time, which would make it about 5am the next day Paris time...and, actually, she wasn't born until 10:45pm so really-she wasn't even 2 yet in the States. I don't know how much she actually enjoyed flying all day long (and waiting, and flying, and waiting some more..) but she sure knew it was her birthday! She kept singing, "Happy to me, Happy to ME!" all day long. Which is the toddler's rendition of Happy Birthday, of course.

The day before we left, we had a little celebration in Paris with Adam's parents & sister, my mom, and the four of us. It involved a tower of macaroons with candles on top that looked absolutely adorable but tasted...well...odd. They were from a little gourmet store and Rebecca and Celine (my mother-in-law & sis-in-law) had picked out a box that had flavors like "orange blossom with anise" that we just weren't gourmet enough to appreciate...but it sure LOOKED adorable!! I had decided that we'd do a little family thing the weekend after we got home, so I didn't have to pack presents there & back. I also knew that we'd all be jet-lagged (just HOW jet-lagged I had no idea) and that I would be 7 months pregnant; so low-key was the way to go. It was just going to be our little family and my mom, since she was staying until Sunday afternoon.

Plans change, though. My sweet little daughter was convinced that we would be going to my aunt & uncle's for her birthday cake; because that was where we'd celebrated Pax's birthday and our cousin Joe's birthday, when we were there for Thanksgiving. Birthday cakes and "Jimmy's house" just went together in her mind. I, however, had calves the size of Texas (thanksverymuch, super long pregnant flights) and wasn't up to driving 3 hours to get there. So we invited my aunt & uncle up to a little lunch party Sunday after church; and she was thrilled! Janet and Jimmy would be there for cake!

Friday & Saturday was spent trying to recover (we got home at midnight Friday; Pax slept until 3 am. That's pretty much how it went for the next week...B had no issues with the time-change but, true to form, my not-so-great sleeper had a VERY hard time adjusting!), going to the grocery store (not only had we been gone for 2 weeks; we'd been home from 2 weeks' worth of Christmas travels for all of 3 days before that, and moved into this house 2 days before that. The cupboards were pretty bare), and building little-miss-I'm-2-now a bed. Well, Adam did that part...I was only allowed to prime and paint. Something about being 7 months pregnant...

...but B LOVED helping her daddy build her "big girl bed"! She even picked out the paint color herself-lavender. What can I say? She knows what she wants and she'll tell ya. Kinda like her mama, that part. We got the design plans off the same site we used to build our bed & Pax's last year, as well as a bookshelf we made around the same time. Although I didn't do any of the building, this time. Adam is learning a ton about woodworking and loves it-but says he needs some clamps badly. Which if you look at the picture and know anyting about woodworking, you will be able to tell. I still think it's pretty fantastic, and one of the most adorable things I've ever seen; and-well-she's pretty happy with it!

My Mom is making her a little quilt for it which I know she'll love; can't wait to see it all finished!

Saturday, while a giant pot of pinto beans sat soaking on the stove, I made the birthday cake. When asked what she wanted for a birthday cake (what flavor? a flower, or a dolly or something else? Her brother gave her loooooots of ideas), B responded "A purple cake," I'm seeing a pattern here...

So that's what we made! I had extra cream cheese frosting in the freezer from the Christmas cookie (monster) incident (oh, I haven't told you about that? Ha! Let's just say my Small Son would get away with more goodie-stealing in the middle of the night if he learned to bribe his sister to keep her quiet. They DO share a room.) so I pulled it out, made a cake from scratch (couldn't find a mix at the store with out hydrogenated oils in it...but I learned how to substitute maple syrup for vanilla extract!), and my mom colored the frosting purple with her two "helpers" and decorated the cake. We also made a giant batch of refried beans, most of which we froze, because my kids love them and it's a way easy, good source of protein for them. And no, we don't use lard to make them. The next day after church we hurried home to meet my aunt and uncle, had tacos for lunch (I heart crockpots), ate purple cake, celebrated little Sugar B turning 2. She had a wonderful time! After which I put both my kids to nap and asked my aunt and uncle if they'd mind if I took a nap too...they stayed to take my mom to the airport on their way home. They didn't mind.

Pretty cute, isn't she? The beads and headband were Pax's present to his little sis...he picked them out himself. He knows her well! She's worn those beads almost every day since...including wearing all of them to her 2-year-old check up the following Tuesday, where my big 4-year-old boy screamed from the moment the doctor said the word "shot" until we left the room. But that's another story.. Sweetest Doll, Daddy and I are so very thankful that God has chosen us to be your parents! Your sweet heart and sense of humor bring so much joy into our lives. We love watching you grow and change, and hearing your little voice singing songs and chattering away at us. I love the way you look out for your big brother and help him when he can't find his things...and it always make me laugh that YOU know where to find his things, when he doesn't! I love watching your personality unfold, and am looking forward to having even more fun with two-year-old YOU!

whew.

2012-01-21T18:01:00.000-08:00

We're home. I have 84,000 things to do, and 84,000 things to blog about. But, since we're in the middle of recovering from jet-lag (which my son is not handling quite so well this side of the ocean...getting up for the day at 3 am is not my idea of a good time, I must say), and building my daughter what may very possibly be the cutest little bed ever, and celebrating said tiny daughter's 2nd birthday on both sides of the ocean (she turned 2 on the day we came home...and the French airlines charged us an extra $300 dollars for her to fly. Happy Birthday!!)....anyways. Like I said, since there will be many more (and more organized, once my brain starts working again) posts, for tonight I'll just leave you with a little tribute to our Sugar B in honor of her 2nd birthday....

The rainbow

2011-12-27T12:36:00.000-08:00

My small son has a problem. A nose picking problem...which we have tried just about everything to stop...but no go. Last night, as Adam put him to bed, he was diggin' for gold and, since it's so much drier here in Ft. Fun, the boogers were getting, well, a bit bloody. (sorry if you don't have small nose-picking children or if that just grosses you out in general)
Adam: "Pax, you gotta stop picking, buddy. See that red? It's blood."
Pax: "It's ok, Daddy. It's just a color of the rainbow,"
Sigh. As my husband would say...parenting is HARD!

2011-12-26T20:09:00.001-08:00

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

Today, there is just one HUGE thankful on my mind...we have a house. It's been a long road of buy vs. rent, search & search, have rentals "go with someone else"...a very, very challenging season for Adam and I as a couple, but for me personally it challenged my ability to be what I consider a successful wife and mother in the midst of massive transition, with 95% of our belongings in storage for 4 months. And now? God has, once again, provided...in the nick of time :) Adam found the house on Craigsli*t Monday night, after a weekend away...went and saw it on Tuesday...put in an application and we were approved in 3 hours. So? Tomorrow we move. Again. But hopefully for the last time in awhile...because I'm still praying for and believing that God will continue to move mountains and Adam will get into the program the first time. Oh, and, by the way, his school is 1.5 miles away from the house, through neighborhoods. He can ride his bike there!! Kind of unheard of for the Phoenix area. Today, I am thankful in the midst of packing (again) and soothing 2 kiddos who are pretty much DONE with the whole moving thing. I am thankful that God works in His own timing, not mine; and that His plans always turn out better than mine would have-even if I struggle to trust in the in-between times. I am thankful for all I've learned about faith and what it means in this situation to live out the faith that I proclaim as my life-source.
And I'm thankful for a place to call "home", at least for awhile. And a settled place to bring this new baby home to.

2011-12-14T20:02:00.001-08:00

Wordless Wednesday: Stunning.

2011-12-14T14:53:00.000-08:00

A picture of my cousin Janell and me, facing into the crazy wind on Thanksgiving Day...

...but I think this one is truly fabulous.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

2011-12-05T14:37:00.001-08:00

Oh, you kid!

2011-12-03T14:18:00.001-08:00

I've been forgetting to stop and write down all the funny little things my littles say lately...and they say some funny stuff! B, especially, is cracking us up right now with her explosion of sentences, her understanding of social conversation, and her goofy little mannerisms. So. Because I don't want to forget...

Last night, for our 2nd day of our "activities Advent", we had a Christmas-themed pizza-movie night. Which pretty much just means I made Christmas tree and candy cane shaped pizzas, and we watched a Christmas show. Fun stuff!! B "helped" me make the sauce for the pizzas; and our conversation went something like this...
B: "Whatssat?" pointing
Me: "It's called garlic,"
B: "Oh. Hi gar-yic, howz it goin?"
Me: cracking up

and then there's my Small Son. Who isn't so small anymore, really...but still gets up insanely early. Today-5 AM. So, we put him in one of the extra rooms here (we call it "Grammy's Room") with strict directions to be quite, go back to sleep, and not to wake up his sister. You know, the usual. All of which he ignored. By 6, he was in bed with me while Adam tried to get B to go back to sleep (she's not so good if she doesn't get enough sleep...neither am I!). He kept wiggling, and wiggling, and whispering, and I kept getting more and more cross and frustrated.

And then I had a revelation. I could spank him about 20 times for disobeying (direct disobedience is the only time we spank, and no, we don't ever do it 20 times. At least not all at once..)

Or I could make him clean the bathrooms.

And so I did. Don't worry, I helped-this time, at least. But this may be a stroke-of-genius consequence...he has extra chores, which as he gets older he will have to complete without help...

and I don't have to clean the bathrooms!

We gotta try something new...

....but I must say. They're awful cute, even if they are little goobers sometimes. These pictures are just a few from our Thanksgiving, spent at my Aunt Janet & Uncle Jimmy's..which will be posted about very soon. And now my Small Son is up from his "nap" (no, he didn't sleep...yes, he's going to bed at 7pm) and would like to type a little:
pax mama daddy blythe jake&joe

2011-11-24T08:34:00.001-08:00

Wordless Wednesday: the Sweetest Doll

2011-11-23T07:00:00.000-08:00

Thankful Thursday

2011-11-17T12:51:00.001-08:00

It's been..well...a ridiculously long time since I've done one of these posts. But, aside from the fact that it's Thanksgiving next week and Thankfulness (as well as pie!) is just on my mind...I find that, when I make the time to write down this little lists of thankfuls-I'm more thankful. More mindful of the blessings I'm surrounded with-no matter what the out word circumstances may be. And that's something that I know I need more of-as is the rest of the world, if the status updates on my Facebo*k are any indication. At first, it's a choice-choosing to see the good instead of the bad; choosing to find something to be thankful for in every situation. But soon it takes over and simply becomes a part of who you are-thankfulness. And who doesn't want to be that person, instead of the whiner next door? Ya know what I mean?? So. The revival of Thankful Thursdays...

..I'm thankful for washers and dryers. Can't imagine washing sheets for all our company this weekend, on top of our sheets, as well as doing so many loads of "my 22-month-old is potty training" laundry without them. Actually, I can...that's why I'm so thankful :)

...I'm thankful for Pinter*st. Not only is it a fantastic way to organize all the little things I'd like to try, but it's giving me some fantastic recipes and ideas I've already put into use!

...I'm thankful for family holiday visits. We get to spend the next week with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins...couldn't be more excited to see everyone! Unless, perhaps, I turned into my children.

...I'm thankful for new babies, and old friends to celebrate those new babies with. I have 2 cousins and 5 friends who are due within 2 months either way of me, and a cousin and a dear friend who have both given birth to sweet little dollies recently. So fun to grow up with these girls, and then have kiddos who will be within months of each other in age!

...I'm thankful for a husband who is not grossed out by anything medically or bodily-function related. And who happens to make great bread.

...I'm thankful for the energy of our two littles, and their love of being outside.

...I'm thankful that it's cooled down enough for us to actually enjoy being outside this month.

...I'm thankful for the way Small Son and B play together.

...I'm thankful for children who potty train early!

...I'm thankful for the surge of energy I've finally gotten this week! Makes the fact that I'm still throwing up much easier to deal with.

Wordless Wednesday: my guys

2011-11-16T07:00:00.000-08:00

2011-11-13T14:49:00.000-08:00

LA LA land

2011-11-10T14:24:00.000-08:00

We have these fantastic friends, Megan and Benjie. Our families lived across the street from each other once upon a time in D-town. Now, they live in L.A. and we live in the Valley. BUT, since 6 1/2 hours is a whole lot closer than oh, at least 16...we decided one weekend in October to road trip out there for a three-day weekend.

And we had so much fun! There's something so very refreshing about old friends-good friends-that you can laugh with, play with, and just pick right back up with where you left off (well, almost. There are a few more littles running around now...). The kids played, and played, and played, and had SO much fun together! Pax turned to Lily (almost5) at one point and told her, "You're my best friend.....(then, glancing over at another little girl from the base who was playing with them, he quickly added) and so are you,". Later that night Lily leaned over and gave Pax a little smooch on the cheek. Pax and Sadie (3) are both super busy, active kids; so if he felt the need to run he'd go up to her and say "Tag! you're it!" or, "Hey, come with me!" or something equally smooth before the two of them ran off.

Blythe divided her time between trying to keep up with the bigger kiddos, and loving this little sweetie...Olivia is 4 months old, and such a mellow, sweet, kissable little dollie! By the end of the trip, B would tell me, "My baby cry!" When Megan put her down for a nap, or "my baby hungee!" when she was eating. Apparently she's adopted Olivia :)

As for the adults? We took turns-the guys went out alone Friday morning, the ladies Saturday afternoon-and all 4 of us went out together Friday night. So.much.fun. We laughed until tears came, ate good food, drove down Sunset Boulevard, and went to a club in the Hollywood area that had a random girl in a window. Yes, she was alive...art, I guess? And there are no pictures of the adults-not really sure what happened there.

Sadie, enjoying chocolate chip pancakes Saturday morning!

yummmm....

watching a show with their buddies. I asked them to all sit together so I could get a picture....

...and this is what I got. I should know better than to try to take a picture of a bunch of littles while they're watching t.v.! And this video just makes me laugh...

Megan and Benjie, it was SO fantastic to see you guys last month...and the girl in the window :) Hope we can do it again soon!!

Wordless Wednesday: when Mama is gone.

2011-10-26T13:13:00.000-07:00

This is what my husband discovered while I was in Colorado (by myself) last weekend...

Seasons

2011-10-21T16:23:00.000-07:00

So I have something God's been whispering to my heart lately. It's a lesson I've learned before, but I'm learning even more deeply now-about thriving in the season of life you're in (as in, thriving in whatever is going on in my life situation, currently); about living in the moment but not forgetting about the future; about having a thankful heart in all things and a little perspective. I was going to blog about it a little... but my good friend Jill just summed it up prettymuch perfectly-so I'm just gonna point you her way, instead.

A little bit of fall

2011-10-19T15:23:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you're used to beautiful, chilly falls in Colorado-but are surrounded by cactus?

Drive up to Prescott on a Saturday whim,

and find a random fall fair at a farm, complete with pumpkin patch, just waiting for you to discover!
Be sure to go on the hayride, pet the horses at the petting "zoo", and watch your husband drool over turkey legs-but decide that $8 is too much for a turkey leg.

Let your Small Son ride on a cool barrel-pulled-by-tractor ride (hey, it's like a train!) and watch him practically jump out of his skin with excitement...

...and then let him get his face painted for the first time, to cap it off (I drew a heart on B's face with these cool wipe-off-oil-paintesk crayons we have when we got back to the car...wasn't gonna pay the $3 for her. Sorry Little Bit-but you were pretty excited, anyway!)

And, of course, take the obligatory family picture on the hay bale, in which your children look like you dragged them there by their hair.

It was so much fun-a little cool, which was SO nice. AND after that? We continued on to Prescott, where we met up with an old friend of Adam's that we discovered had moved there in July with his wife...Adam hadn't talked to Paul in close to 2 years, and randomly emailed him to reconnect the day before...surprise!! he and his wife are now living in the little town we were planning on visiting the next day anyway. God's cool like that...He loves to show us how much He loves us through harvest carnivals and long-lost friends. So refreshing to these transplants who are still getting used to the fact that it's 97 degrees in the middle of October.

Happy Birthday, Small Son!!

2011-10-17T20:58:00.000-07:00

Adam looked at my blog about 10 minutes ago and said something to the effect of, "Gee, you're really slacking at this whole blogging thing," At which point I decided that it would be better to, well, blog with my free time tonight instead of looking at baby quilt ideas on Pinter*st. I know the pictures are of a not-so-fantastic quality...sometimes the point & shoot is simply easier because of it's size! So, let's see...since I last blogged, we've had 4 quick weekend getaways (one to photograph a friend's wedding, and 3 just for fun-I have a lot to write about!) and one very, very important event....Pax turned 4. Yup, it finally happened...the event much-awaited (by him), much dreamed of (by him), and a birthday cake that has NEVER been so carefully considered (by both of us). At least once a week for the month leading up to his birthday, he & I would discuss what kind of cake he wanted...trains, cars, monster trucks...pretty soon anything & everything turned into a cool birthday cake idea. As in, "How 'bout a CEREAL birthday cake, Mama? or a TV birthday cake?" it was highly entertaining. At least for me. Adam, not so much I don't think! Finally, FINALLY the big weekend arrived. My folks flew in late the Thursday before; so late we didn't even tell the kids they were coming. We wanted to ~~actually sleep that night~~ surprise them. The kids just discovered Grammy & Grandaddy when they woke up...which you could say they were pretty excited about. Friday we headed down to Benson to spend some time at my aunt & uncle's, which I affectionately call the Desert Resort. They live in a beautiful part Arizona with 15 acres to explore and some cool vintage trucks to play with; and Pax loves it there. So down we went-with a quick stop for Mexican food with other assorted aunts, uncles, & a cousin at a much-loved restaurant :) Saturday was spent outside, since it's a good 15 degrees cooler down there than in the Valley, and making The Cake.

This is the cake in the freezer, thru Pax's eyes. We attempted an ice cream cake for the first time-luckily my Aunt Janet has made quite a few before :)

Here's the thing about my cakes...they don't look so pretty. Usually something doesn't go quite like I'd envisioned it-but they taste pretty good! This one was no exception. Although the kids enjoyed dipping pretzels into the cream cheese frosting, it was-weird. I've made the recipe several times...couldn't get it right. The cake itself...I made a bigger cake, planning to put a "wrestling ring" & monster trucks on top. The ice cream was frozen in a pan to be put in later...and when we put it in between the layers, we realized it was at least an inch smaller all around than the cake. hmmm. So much for that whole measure-twice-cut-once thing. So-enter runny icing to try to fill the gap. And enter M& M's crammed into the crack and cemented in with runny icing because the icing by itself was to, well, runny and wouldn't stay on its own. Enter a cake that will give ANY kid (and most adults) a mondo suger high; and quite possibly could get me the mother-of-the-year award.

Small Son's birthday was Sunday the 2nd, so that night after the kids crashed we decorated the entire house. Lots of balloons & streamers...this is how I like to do birthdays!

Sunday morning, Pax was up at 5. At least I think he made it till 5am...he was just a liiiitle excited. In my family growing up, we had a tradition of Birthday Breakfasts-basically, we got to eat yummy food we didn't normally get for breakfast and open our presents. Which was fantastic...so we've continued the tradition in our family, as well. For Pax, this meant donuts (and some eggs & bacon for the grownups) and an island full of presents, most of which my parents had somehow managed to cram into their luggage-seriously, I'm not sure if they actually brought any clothes with them, 'cause all I could see were presents! They spoiled our little guy thoroughly, as did other aunts & uncles and friends (and Adam and I did a little bit, too). And loved every minute of it!

I have to say this was NOT a tradition in my family growing up...the sibling getting a gift, too. But Blythe loved it, and hey, being a grandparent changes a person!

The crew at breakfast-my folks, the kids & I, and my Aunt Janet and Uncle Jimmy. I know you can't really see everyone because of the sun, but it's there for history's sake.

Pax could hardly wait until after lunch-which my dad's other sister, Jean, and her husband Jon joined as well-for The Cake. He was so, so excited when we brought it out! All in all, I think I can chalk up his birthday as a success-hodgepodge cake and all. He fell asleep in about .5 seconds on the drive home...a happy, tired, 4-year-old boy.

An epic journey...in many, many parts.

2011-09-20T14:11:00.000-07:00

*Disclaimer* there are no pictures in this post. Yes, I know this makes it somewhat boring; feel free to skip it if you want to. I promise there are pictures coming very, very soon...
We knew when we moved to the Valley (as they call it here...) that this wasn't going to be an "easy" move, in terms of we'll-have-a-house-and-everything-will-be-peachy-as-soon-as-we-get-there kind of easy. And it hasn't been; but still, it's been good. Lots of growing, adjusting, changing. My father-in-law is helping us buy a home down here, which is amazing...it also means the timeline of that happening isn't exactly in our control. So I'm readjusting my thinking, and we're moving tonight into a 3 month rental (furnished, thankfully, so we don't have to move EVERYTHING out of the storage units), with the hope that we can be in our own place by the end of the year. And this is good. It's moving in the right direction. It's moving towards stability for our family; towards some semblance of normal again.
This move has been crazily parallel to our move from D-town to Ft. Collins 2 years ago, in so many ways. The uncertainty; things not working out ~~anything close to~~ exactly like we'd planned...
and finding out days before we moved that another little addition is on its way.
yup. I'm pregnant. #3. almost 11 weeks.
Shocked would be an understatement. Ok, to be totally honest-I cried for about 30 seconds when I first saw the 3 little flashing lights on my LadyComp that signifies a pregnancy. Please hear me-we are thankful for this new little baby. We love our 2 bigger kiddos, love being parents, and believe with all our hearts that children are indeed a blessing from the Lord. It's just that..well...this wasn't how we planned it. Which I know sounds completely silly & selfish & believe me, we've been 'round and 'round with all this. Anyone else know what I'm talking about? This little baby just so wasn't on our radar for at least 2 more years. In fact, I'd told Adam I didn't even want to THINK about having another one until he was done with PA school. The thought of a being pregnant and having a newborn with him studying llike crazy and doing clinicals stressed me out. So the timing of it all kinda knocked me us on our seats. 3 surprise pregnancies. And we're so not the we-don't-plan-our-kids-we-just-let-them-come-when-they-come kind of people. We actually have been actively trying NOT to get pregnant with all 3 of them-which I'm pretty sure makes us that percentage they put on all forms of birth control-you know, they're 99.9 percent effective or whatever? We, apparently, are the .1 percent.
This pregnancy has been-well-not super easy so far. Not that ANY pregnancy is a walk in the park, unless you're just amazingly blessed like that. My ~~morning~~ all day sickness has been much, much worse this time around; throwing up only once or twice a day makes it a really really good day. It's actually the first sign I had of my pregnancy-I was feeling nauseous for about 2 weeks BEFORE I found out I was pregnant, and couldn't figure out why-ha! The health insurance thing has been crazy, too. Since we don't (well, until tonight) have a permanent address, I can't apply for health insurance here. But I had it in Colorado, still. So for a while there we were seriously considering me flying back and forth for a few months to start my prenatal care...but then we realized that to pay for my visits out of pocket for the first month or two would cost just as much as the plane tickets to Colorado for the kids and I. So I did some research and had my first appointment last week. I'm seeing a midwife (well, several of them really) this time, and so far I think I'm going to like it a lot except for the part where you see someone different every appointment & don't know who will deliver you till the day you have the kiddo. I think if it was my first baby, this would be a real issue for me...I've had the luxury of family practice docs with both the others, which means the doc who does my OB care is also the delivering doc AND the baby's pediatrician. Loved it that they knew my baby so very well. So this is taking some getting used to...but then again, so is everything about being here :) Like the 115 degree heat of last month (it's cooling down now-only 100 today!) which our car overheated in and the crazy hugeness of the city and driving so much and all that comes along with the Big City. But we've had some fun adventures, too; We stayed in a fancy-schmancy hotel one night that had a water park, just for fun; and went to the free admission night at the Children's Museum (and waited in line for an hour and a half before we even got in...everyone else apparently had the same idea), and have explored some of the indoor play places here, and eaten In-N-Out, and visited my aunt & uncle in the cooler desert down south, and gone swimming every single chance we've gotten-which is a lot since there's a pool in the backyard. We're looking forward to exploring more of the mountians/desert around here as it cools down, and I've gotten some great tips from my USA-travelin' friend Sarah about how to do this whole big city thing (She and her husband, along with their 2 kiddos, travel around the country in a 5th wheeler for her husband's job-have been doing it since their oldest was about 1. So cool!) All in all, we're settling in and it's gonna be good. I'm learning, again, that God gives us grace for the moment-for the situation we find ourselves in-and I just need to accept it & live in it. Which, I admit, is easier said than done.
Now the kids and I have to go pick up Adam from school..the whole 1-car family thing doesn't work quite as well in the Big City. Oh, that reminds me, we're gonna need a bigger car...

Cookie Monster is alive and well...and living at my house.

2011-08-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

So, I have this Small Son. He has a vivid ( oh boy is it vivid!) imagination which, among other things, brings him running to our room and flying onto our bed at LEAST twice a week because there are "scaries" in his room. We (being loving, if not sometimes rather tired) parents escort him back to his room (usually we take turns...a good nudge gets Adam up if need be), where we pray to Jesus to take the scaries away, give Pax sweet dreams, etc. Last night was no exception...well, except the Small Son had actually taken a nap yesterday (swimming 2 or 3 times a day will do that to ya!). I'm pretty sure that's where the trouble started...so, he'd already come in, been taken back, etc. At about 5am he came in again-he's pretty sure the day is old as soon as the sun peeks over the horizon-soi escorted him back to his bed.
"mama, look-can you just get those off?"
I ran my hand over the sheets and felt something...crummy. I immediately knew what had happened, but since it was 5am I ignored it, went back to bed, and knew I'd be hearing an interesting story later. An hour and a half later, both kids were up (thanks to the non-sleeper) and I headed out to the pool for a quick swim while Adam started the morning routine. Upon coming in, I found the sweet little angel sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of outmeal, and began the questioning.
" so, Pax...where did those crumbs come from in your bed?"
"oh, I just got a cookie,"
"you mean you got out of bed and came downstairs to get a cookie last night?"
"yes! It was sooooo yummy...I just sneaked down quietly, and got the cookies, and went to my bed and ate them alllll up! Yum!" (picture cookie-monster-ish noises and miming chomping on cookies)
"wait...cookies? How many did you have?"
"two! And then they were all gone," he shook his head sadly. (luckily...or else there would've been one sick little boy!)"and I just took them to my bed and ate them ALL UP and I was quiet and didn't wake up sister!"
Well, that's good at least...I'm still trying to figure out how come the kid can't stay in his bed cause of the "scaries"; but he can get out of his bed in the middle of the night and go downstairs in the dark by himself without a peep. The cookies were calling his name, apparently. So, you see, Cookie Monster DOES live at my house....and yes, Adam hid the cookies tonight.

A quick update.

2011-08-19T13:32:00.000-07:00

So, we're here. In Phoenix, in the hotness, starting a new adventure...my kids were in the pool at 8am this morning. It wasn't quite 90 degrees, which was a nice break from yesterday when it was 90 at 6am! The heat doesn't seem to bother the kiddos at all...but that might be because of the beautiful pool in the backyard of the house we're staying in! Not our own house,not yet; some friends of Adam's folks are letting us stay in their home so very generously while they excape the heat in D-town :) SUCH a blessing to not have to pay for a hotel! Adam starts his last prereqs on Monday, but his applications are already in; now the waiting, praying, and house hunting begin. Or continue,really. Cause that's never stopped...the kiddos are doing beautifully, at least so far. No issues with the transition-actually I think they had a harder time before we left, when we were staying at my parents' for 2 weeks. pax in particular. He knew what was happening and just wanted to get to Arizona already! Of course, we've been here all of 3 days...we were a bit (ok, a lot) delayed by croup, laryngitis, last-minute issues that had to wait till Monday in Ft.Fun, and more croup. But we got to spend an extra day in D-town with the cousins (oh my so much fun!)which was totally worth the delay. I have more, pictures too of course, but for now-we're he, we're safe, we're enjoying the pool! And I'm readjusting my thinking about what time of the year my kids can be outside in the middle of the day :)

This is the reason...

2011-07-26T12:08:00.000-07:00

This is the reason I've not been blogging lately. Well, this and the piles of boxes around the house. Between the editing and the packing and the swimming lessons and the playing and the chasing after the kiddos...there's no time. And then there's this big ol' truck, which showed up this morning. See, we have to be out of our apartment by this weekend; but because of Adam's work & school and my photoshoots and weddings, we're not heading to the desert until the middle of next month. So this truck brought us some lovely cubes, which we will cram out stuff into and then call the truck-man to come pick them up and take them to a secure storage facility somewhere in the Valley, as they call it, until we get down there. I'm pretty sure Pax has been waiting for this big ol' truck to come for weeks, now...a little boys' heaven! It's a little crazy right now...but this is the adventure we're being led on, so here we go!!

And then there's these sweet curls, which I totally adore...I may cry if she ever grows out of them. Seriously.

And these two buddies. Cousins, partners-in-crime...as long as Pax doesn't annoy Maddie too much :). This picture was taken at the bakery in June, when we visited D-town...told ya I have a LOT of catching up to do!! For now, though...

editing.packing.repeat.

Wordless Wednesday: Happy Camper

2011-07-06T14:28:00.000-07:00

June 29th, 2002: the day the world tilted.

2011-06-29T14:20:00.000-07:00

It was the day my life changed-dramatically-forever. I suppose I could say that about a lot of days in my life-my wedding day, the day I gave birth to my son, the day I met Adam, the day I left for Brazil...there are others, of course. But none of those days changed my life (actually, my entire family) quite as radically as that day did.
It was a beautiful, sunny day.
I was 18 1/2 years old.
I had just graduated from high school a month before, and was looking forward to one last summer of "childhood".
It was the day my sister died.
I've never been able to write about her, before. I mean, I've journaled and talked and thought about her countless times, but I've never been able to write about her before. At least, not about the day she died. But today....something keeps nagging at me. Something whispering I need to write about her, about that day and all the days that followed after it, and I need to do it now.
So I am-or, at least, I'm trying.
You know how you'll always remember exactly where you were when you heard about September 11th? Or the Oklahoma City Bombing, or the Kennedy assassination? {Not that I remember that one...but maybe some of you do!} That's how I remember The Phone Call. My best friend and I were driving down College Avenue on a bright sunny day, headed to our favorite boutique, when my mom called. I remember her telling me my sister was in the hospital and I needed to come home right away so we could get down to Denver, where she was. I remember thinking something serious was happening because of the tone of my mom's voice. But I thought-maybe surgery. Maybe in the hospital for a few days....never did I think she would die. I mean, my friend and I were supposed to go to her place for the fourth of July weekend. She would be fine by then...right?
My parents obviously had a different sense of foreboding. My Dad got us down to Denver as fast as he could; my mom kept calling my brother (who was spending the weekend with her and called the ambulance in the first place) but all he would say was,
"They're still working on her."
Except she was already gone. In the blink of an eye, my tall, blond, beautiful, sunny sister was taken up to be with her Savior. She was 24 and the picture of perfect health...it was unthinkable. {I wish I had a picture to post of her but this was before I had a digital camera, and I still don't have a scanner}
I remember so clearly walking through the ER back to one of those little offices where they take people when they have really bad news to tell them. I had an anklet on with little silver bells all over it, like Indian dancers wear, and the sound of it jingling was all I could hear the whole way back....a chaplain was there, along with my brother and my parents' good friends from forever. I remember wondering how they'd gotten there...and then I remember the man saying something like, "I'm sorry," and seeing my mom start to cry but I didn't understand, didn't want to understand, couldn't understand, and so I asked him desperately, "Is she dead??"
And he just nodded.
And I became numb.
She died of a coronary embolism, a blood clot that probably started in her leg, broke off, and went directly to her heart. We were told they did everything they could to save her-I didn't want to know what that meant. Still don't, although I have a cousin who worked as an EMT who could tell me, I'm sure. We found out later through blood testing that we have a genetic condition call hyperhomosystemia, which basically causes our blood to clot more easily than average. It's not as rare as you'd think...couple that with the birth control pills she was taking for bad cramps, and the combination was horribly tragic. It's one of the reasons I've never touched hormonal birth control and am so emphatic about my friends getting their blood tested for the condition if they are going to use any form of hormonal birth control-losing one person this way is more than enough.
Losing my sister was tragic.
I don't remember how we got home that evening. I don't remember a lot about the first weeks after her death. I do remember how horrible that first night was. And I remember the sound of my mother crying.

I had to grow up in a hurry-like overnight. I had to learn to comfort those who had always been there to comfort me-my parents-as I watched them grieve the death of their firstborn. Losing a best friend is bad enough; losing a sister is tragic. I can only now, as a mother myself, begin to imagine the pain my parents went thorough. It's not the way things are "supposed" to be-the child dying before the parent.
It's the first and last time I ever slept in their bed all night long. Comforting them as they comforted me.

I can't stop there, though. As easy as it would be to make this post about her death, about grief, about how our family shifted and changed for years before we finally found our new places-I can't. I have to write about the hope of Erica's death.
Because there is hope....
"...weeping may endure for a night, but Joy comes in the morning," Psalm 30:5
and I know this to be true, because I've lived it. Joy didn't come in happy days and laughter right away; although there was perhaps to some a scandalous amount of laughter in that house the week before Erica's funeral. How could we laugh, you ask, when my devastatingly young sister had just tragically died?
Because of hope.
"for I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD; plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you HOPE and a future," Jeremiah 29:11
Everywhere we turned that week there were whispers of heaven. A dollar bill at the checkout with the above verse written on it. An angel's touch felt in her bedroom. A dream I had, talking to my sister...my cousin sleeping in the same room listened to me talk to her in my sleep. An anklet we made to remember her, with a little heart and a little cross charm on it-and then my mom finding a gold necklace {my sister's when she was little} with a little heart and a little cross charm on it. There are more, so many more....but perhaps the loudest whisper was that of the still, small voice in my heart telling me to Live.
It wasn't the same kind of living I'd done before, though. Like learning to walk again after a bad accident-that's how I learned to live again. How we ALL learned to live again. Slowly and sometimes painfully.

If you knew Erica at all, you knew she loved the Lord. You'd know that, although she might have been a little sad to leave us behind, if she'd known she would be going to heaven so soon-she would've been joyful. Especially in the last 6 or so years of her life, she was a young woman confident in who she was and what she stood for, and who she lived for-Jesus Christ. She definitely wasn't perfect. You may not consider yourself religious at all, and believe me, neither do I. I live to be faithful...as was she. Faithful to the One who gave His life for her long before she died, so she might be with Him in heaven when the time came, instead of lost to eternal darkness. Faithful to the One who loved her so much He used her death to glorify Him-as she would have wanted. She exuded joy and life. And He used her life to show others why she was so joyful.
Her funeral was packed. The entire church was filled with people, young and old, those who believed in God and those who absolutely didn't-but came along to support us, her family. I wore a bright red sundress with little flowers on it, and my mom wore yellow. We knew Erica would've hated the thought of us wearing black. {I've never worn that dress again-neither has my mom} I stood up beside my dad at the podium and read our "traveling Psalm"-hers and mine-Psalm 91. She gave it to me when I got on the plane to Brazil. she was my biggest fan, always. She was literally the first person I saw when I was born-practically shoving the doctor out of her way in her eagerness-and she belived in me. Always, even when I didn't believe in myself. a good friend as well as a sister, even though she was 6 years older than me. When I was 13, she became one of my youth leaders so she could "keep an eye on me"...most people didn't even know we were related. We look pretty much nothing alike, plus she was 5 inches taller than me. As a teenager, we went hiking, out to coffee, out to dinner...she always made time for me. My first visit to the Cheesecake Factory (oh, bliss!) was with her when I was about 15 or so...my parents were out of town, my brother was working or gone (I can't remember), and she had the two of us get all dolled up and took my to 16th street mall and we had a fabulous time. A sister date. When I was a senior in high school, we went snowboarding together whenever we could; sometimes just the two of us, but other times she'd help haul a group of my friends up to the mountain and spend a day on the slopes with a bunch of crazy teenagers. She walked me though some of the darkest days I'd ever had as I struggled with an eating disorder and horrible sense of self-worth. And she cried as she watched me run my last cross-country race my senior year...she was so very proud of me. I never doubted it.
And that's why, although I miss her many other days of the year, I only allow myself to grieve her one day of the year-today. The anniversary of her death. 9 years ago, today...I know she wants me to live- fully and full of joy; not just to exist. I knew this, even though it hurt to breath those first few days. I knew this, as I begged God to heal my hurting family and teach me to live again-living differently now, because I know just how finite life is. And when I grieve, it's really for myself that I grieve-for the things I've lost; the moments we didn't get to share. Like not having her as my maid of honor, like we'd always talked about...but my mom reminded me there was another, very special woman in my life-not just a cousin but a sister of my heart-that God had given me years before Erica died. The only women I'd ever want standing there besides Erica, because she walks with me though everything and was there through all the darkness and back into the light. I focused on the joy of the day, and knew she was there beaming from ear to ear. A clap of the thunder at the beginning of the ceremony was like a special little "hello" from heaven.
I grieve that my husband and children never met Erica-but one day they will. And now it's up to me to let them "know" her through my memories...and I want them to know her as she was, full of life; not just to know about her tragic death. Sometimes I ask God to let her see them, or to tell her about her nephews and niece-I don't know how it all works up there, but it can't hurt to ask, right?
So I choose not to grieve her death-but to celebrate her life. To remember her klutziness, her cabbage-patch-kid face, the way my brother and I could make her laugh 'till she cried. Baking together, running together, living life together....it gives me hope. And although I know it scarred my brother in ways I can't imagine to be there with her that day; to have been the one to make the call; to wonder "what if"-I'm so thankful he was there to help her. That she wasn't alone. God works even in the details..and "He works all things together for good, for those whose HOPE is in Christ Jesus"..I don't know the reference for that, but it's in my heart.
June 29th, 2011: A day of Hope.

my favorite.

2011-06-20T13:07:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of editing some pictures of our good friends, the Palmers, whom I got do a family shoot for when we were in Durango...and I just HAVE to post this one for Jill. It's by.far. my favorite....Or maybe this one is.

Or this one. Ok, so they're just all stinkin' cute!

2011-06-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

This is the way we wash the car

wash the car

wash the car

this is the way we wash the car-

well...because we can!

{and also because he is his father's son} :)

p.s. the big guy is my brother-Uncle Fred. No, that's not his real name. Yes, it's a very long story.

Mother's (Birth)day

2011-06-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

This is my husband.

This is my mother, with my daughter.

This is my husband and son playing catch with my father, using Adam's birthday presents-new baseball gloves for the big one and the little one.

This is one of my favorite pictures ever of my son playing catch with my husband and my father. {see the tongue?}

This is how we spent part of Mother's Day, which also happened to be my husband's birthday this year.

{This post is very, very late}
My husband was actually born on Mother's Day...pretty good present, huh? Aside from the whole being-in-labor bit.
This is my father sweeping, although I promise he wasn't doing this all day. He just managed to mostly evade the camera.

The rest of the day was spent barbecueing with my brother and sister-in-law and eating pie, which I didn't take any pictures of. Possibly because I was too busy eating it...my mom makes a gooooood pie.

I am so thankful for my mother and the sacrifices, love, and patience she has poured into me over the years...I don't think you can ever fully understand all your parents did for you growing up until you become a parent yourself. And I am so thankful that, on Mother's Day 28 years ago, my mother-in-law gave birth to her own gift--because he is a blessing to me, abundantly and overwhelmingly, every day of the year.
Including Mother's Day.
and what were my presents this year, you ask?
I got to sleep in-'till 6:45. {hey, you take what you can get!!}
I got to get ready all by myself, in a quite house.
I got Starbucks brought home to me and crepes waiting on the table when I came down to breakfast.
I got a beautiful bouquet of tulips carried in by a small son who crowed, "Happy Mother's Day!! ...you're supposed to be sleeping!"
I got sweet baby snuggles from a tiny, curly-haired little dollie, sandwiched between her daddy and me.
And I got a gift card to Targ*t to buy myself new summer sandals.
Does it get any better than that??

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-15T11:24:00.000-07:00

What it is.

2011-06-12T19:27:00.001-07:00

We're home. Back after 2 weeks of traveling, 4 8-hour road trips, 2 2-hour plane rides (one of which we were totally THAT FAMILY on. You know...the ones with the screaming baby you don't ever want on your flight? Yup. That was us.), 3 seperate trips, 3 states, more cousins than I can remember, not a whole lot of sleep, tons of pool time, and lots of fun.

It was worth every minute.

But I have a suitcase that still needs to be unpacked, shopping trips to plan if we hope to eat a decent meal tomorrow, and 2 photoshoots from last week to edit before wedding season starts for me this next weekend.

So, although I have some fantastic stories (several of which include finding my Small Son naked in various places....)

Just a couple pictures for tonight. Because summer is what it is...which is fantastic.

Wordless Wednesday: Hey there, cowboy...

2011-05-25T13:47:00.000-07:00

for Jinny :)

Overload

2011-05-23T13:11:00.000-07:00

It's 2:11pm. My kiddos are sleeping, and I should be editing pictures or making phone calls or at least taking a shower because I worked out this morning and stink to high heaven. But I've got so much on my mind, I can't concentrate on anything else. See, Adam and I started watching Food, INC. last night. We stream it through Netflicks on our Wii, which is our oh-so-convienent (and waaaay cheaper!) alternative to cable. Well, that and hulu. But Food, Inc.
It's basically a movie about how our food (especially meat) production has changed in America in the last 50 years...and it seriously made me nauseous. But in a good way...is that possible? It shows the meat lots, the chicken farms, stuff like that. We're probably only half through it, and I want to go buy a farm and start raising all our own meat, milk, & eggs. Like today. That's how eye-opening this movie is-seriously, you should watch it! I knew some of the facts behind how our meat is mass-produced; but seeing it is just a whole 'nother thing.
and here's the part that drives me nuts.
I consider myself to be fairly health-conscious. And moderatly frugal. Not over-the-top; but
we don't eat anything with hydrogenated oils in it, and keep processed foods to a minimum (like barbeque sauce) in our house.
I make my own salsa because a) It's delicious and b) about 4 years ago I couldn't find a store-bottled salsa without preservatives or, get this, SUGAR in it. Seriously...who puts sugar in salsa??
We don't buy baked goods-except for bread, and that's from a local store with ingredients I can pronounce. We make our own goodies, which are yummier anyways, from the closest-to-nature ingredients we can find. Even things like granola bars are waaaaay cheaper if you make them.
We buy organic fruits and veggies as much as we can afford; sometimes I have to go to 3 stores but I can almost always find the .99/lb. sales on organics SOMEWHERE.
I switched to all-natural cleaners, and use all-natural products on our skin, including my makeup & the kids' wash.
I have used cloth diapers on my babies since Pax was 3 months old. Not only does it save a TON of money long-term, because I use the ones that are adjustable size-wise so I only had to buy the diapers once; we can also keep diapers out of land fills. I'm not hard-core, though; my babies do wear disposables at church in the nursery, or when they stay at Grammy's house.
We do all these things because we want our family to be as healthy as possible. I've slowly learned that health is SO much more than a number on a scale or how fast you can run. And I'm still learning all that it means. But to us, another part of being healthy is keeping chemicals, preservatives, and added hormones out of our bodies as much as possible; so that our bodies have a chance to work the way God intended them to work.
but we don't buy organic or free-range meats. or eggs. or milk.
I do get all-natural milk from a Colorado dairy. But I have no idea how they keep or milk their cows.
We used to get free free-range eggs from a family in Durango...didn't know how good we had it! Not only do they taste better and have more nutrients-the chickens they came from were healthier, which meant their eggs were, well, just better for us.
I wish with all my heart we could go fully free-range, if not organic. I'd love even more to be able to buy everything locally, instead of buying meat shipped from a huge stock lot where the animals are raised for meat with little concern to their health, well-being, or how much manure they're standing in day after day (mmmm...e.coli!).But.
It's so.expensive. And while we always have enough money (God always provides for us as we are faithful to Him, even if we don't see how it's going to work out); there's not exactly a lot of extra floating around. I, like most everyone else, have a grocery budget. We live fairly bare-bones...one car, no cable, homemade as much as possible, cheapest cell phone plan possible, etc. Coupons aren't much of a help because most of what we buy is whole food (think: most like it's natural form). I stay home with my kids, and while I do have a photography business that always seems to bring in money just when we need it; there's not a lot of wiggle room.
but I think I'm about to go all Laura Ingalls Wilder on my husband. If I start to make more stuff (our shampoo, conditioner, & cleaning products are a start-maybe even bread! I am married to a baker's son, after all..) I can stick with the all-natural products I want and maybe, just maybe, save enough to go at least partially free-range with our meat, milk & eggs. If we end up buying our own house anytime soon-or moving someplace with the space for a chest freezer-I'll probably be calling up my sis-in-law to order half a beef from her dad's ranch in Southern Colorado. We may be learning about other good sources of protein and going vegetarian a couple of days a week. And I have a feeling that there will be much more farmer's-market-scouring in our future, as well.
More grocery shopping...ugh. But it'll be worth it- our health is at stake.
So what I want to know is.....
where do I start?? I've google some shampoo recipes, but would much rather hear from my friends, if you guys have any tips or places to look. And I'm sure I'll blog more about my adventures in soap-making and the like. Little House in the (medium) City, anyone?

Milo!

2011-05-19T05:00:00.000-07:00

This is why I haven't been blogging a lot recently. Well, this little guy, and an e-session, and another little one-year-old session...so.fun. I usually don't put my work up on this blog; but this little guy is special. He's the littlest son of two friends of mine, Chris and Shannon, that I've known since high school, gone on missions trips with, worked side by side with in youth ministry back we were first in college...Chris is one of the first worship leaders I sang with, waay back in the day. They were high school sweethearts and I just love them both. Our little guys are all only a few months apart (Clive is about 2 months younger than Pax and just as train-and-car-crazy; Milo is about 4 months younger than Blythe), which makes playdates LOTS of fun!! So when Shannon asked me to do some pics of Milo for his 1st birthday, I jumped at the chance. Once I left my crying son at home (he was heartbroken that he didn't get to go play with Clive), we had a great shoot. But then, when the subject is this stinkin' cute...it's not exactly hard to get a good picture! You can click here to see more, but these are a couple of my favorites.

Isn't he an absolute doll??

Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

5 years this Friday... I love him so very, very much.

For Faye: Granola-Bar cookies :)

2011-05-11T12:17:00.000-07:00

One of my oldest (as in, we've known each other a long time; she's not age-old!) friends asked a few weeks ago for a good granola bar recipe. Since, I have one that my family LOVES, I told her I'd give it to her...but I had to actually make them and measure it all out, 'cause I usually just kinda throw it all in till it looks right. This seemed like the easiest way to get it to her...so, feel free to read or ignore this as you'd like!
Here ya go, Faye....the Recipe!! (sorry it took me awhile :)
3 c. oats
1c. nonfat dry milk
1 container peanut butter (16 or 26 oz....I use the all-natural stuff; my favorite is the one that has flax seed added to it. Omega-3s, baby!)
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 c. raisins
1 c. dried cranberries
(you can, of course, use any dried fruit you like...)
1/2 to 3/4 c. chocolate chips (again, you don't have to add them...but my kids eat these if I add chocolate chips, and I think a little bit of chocolate is worth it considering the benefits of the other good stuff!)
1/2 to 3/4 c. honey. this totally depends on how "wet" you want them...obviously, the more honey, the stickier they will be. We like them moister (is that a word??) at my house.
3/4 to 1 c. water (again, as you start mixing, it will just depend on how wet you want them. The oats soak up a lot of moisture as they chill, so add a bit more at first until you see what consistency you like)
**variation..add a scoop or 2 of protein powder if you need the extra protein! Adam likes to do this when he's lifting hard, or if you're training for a big race...might be good for growing a baby, too ;)
Throw it all in a big bowl or mixer, in the order it's listed or whatever order you'd like. It doesn't really matter, which is the beauty of it! Add water last a little at a time as you mix, until mixed thoroughly and at the consistency you like. IT WILL BE GOOEY!
Press mix into a glass casserole dish (or 2 small dishes), 1/2 to 1 inch thick. Put into the fridge for about half an hour or until thoroughly chilled. Bars will become firmer and easier to handle. Cut to desired size...Adam likes big ones, but he's also been eating cookies 'n cream ice cream like it's going out of style the past 2 weeks because of finals stress and has LOST weight. Smaller is better for me & the kiddos :) We wrap ours in tin foil, but anything like that would work. If you keep them in the fridge until you need to grab one, they stay fresher; although we do take them on hikes & they're just as good. Enjoy!!

Diary of a (Pre)Med-student('s wife)

2011-05-10T13:21:00.001-07:00

Now that the cat is out of the bag and I can actually blog about our potential move, that's just what I'm gonna do! I think that, for me, the only thing more daunting than packing and moving an entire family with littles to another state just might be trying to find a home for said family. Thank the sweet Lord for the Internet! Not that it helps with the overwhelming; just actually helps to be able to (sort of) see what the house looks like....I finally contacted a realtor down there today. I just need the help of someone who actually lives there and knows the area. you know, where the good neighborhoods are, what would be within reasonable driving distance to the schools Adam is applying to; that kind of stuff. Kinda helpful, since I don't really see us living in a hotel for months and keeping our stuff in one of those PODS-thingys while we look for a home....but really, what we need is some major direction as to where to even LOOK. I know it will all work out. I know, too, that God is the one orchestrating this move and if I believe that-which I do-I can trust Him to help us find a home in the right area. It's just a leetle overwhelming right now...'cause although I have family in Tucson, I've spent very little time in Phoenix and Adam has only driven through it. And the countdown is on to our trip down there, and we'd really, really like (or, ok, kinda HAVE TO) walk through a bunch of places while we're there. And hopefully find one we like.
Unless, of course, we get down there and decide it's not the place for us, which will bring on a whole 'nother set of challenges...Montana roadtrip, anyone?
Ok...I have to go back to my Internet search now. Wish me luck :)

Little Bit: 15 months

2011-05-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

This is my little daughter. We call her Little Bit.
B.
Booski (don't ask!).

she's 15 1/2 months old, 29 inches tall, and 21 pounds...

which puts her in the 19th percentile for weight and the 9th for height. (Yay, she's on the chart!!)
She's sweet, smart, and silly (totally tries to make us laugh...which is, well, hilarious!)

Incredibly strong-willed and feisty

She's very curious, a little bit rough-and-tumble (well, she kinda has to be, considering who her big brother is...)

and more than a bit of a daredevil

She also looooves to accessorize.

Seriously, after having a boy it was a bit of a shock when our 1-year-old started bringing us the shoes she wanted to wear that day, wanting specific bows in her hair, and having a definite opinion about her outfits. Pretty sure Pax STILL couldn't care less, as long as he doesn't have to wear jeans.

Female to the core, this one! It's so much fun to have one of each-boy and girl. I LOVE seeing the differences between my two sweet littles.

Diary of a {Pre}Med-student{'s wife}

2011-05-03T13:49:00.000-07:00

The only thing that has been consistent with this medical-career adventure has been change. Moving from our first married home in Durango, where we'd had some deep roots and wonderful friends; living with my parents for a year because the economy made it hard to find work; new classes every semester, new schedules, new job with somewhat consistent hours...change. Every semester, adjustments have to be made. And I think that {at least so far} we've dealt with it pretty well.
Hopefully we'll handle this next change even better, 'cause it's...well...pretty huge for us.

A few weeks ago {like 2}, we almost bought a house. And when I say almost, I mean we'd found a place, put in an offer, they countered, we countered, they countered...all that was left was for us to accept the offer.

But something just didn't feel right.

Adam was restless about it...which was weird, because he's the one who has wanted to buy a house pretty much since we got married. So, we did what every couple does when faced with a huge decision. We slept on it. And then took the kids on a run the next morning.

We talked, and talked, and talked. Up and down and around in circles....until, on the way back, about 1/2 mile away from our place, Adam said it.

"Or, we could just...pick a school, only apply one place, and move there in August," to which I replied
"...........huh."

It had never occurred to me before, moving early. We had thought we'd be in Ft. Fun until next spring. Neither had Adam, actually, until that moment. But as we contemplated it in silence-it kinda made sense. I felt a peace about it that I hadn't felt about the condo we'd almost bought. We could move and have 9 months or so to get settle into our new community; find a church, meet some friends...in short, build a support system where we'd be for the next 3 or 4 years {at least!}. Gotta admit, it sounded better to me in a lot of ways than moving one month and Adam starting his program the next.But before we made a decision, we knew we needed to spend some time praying about the move.
So we prayed. And fasted. And listened. And waited. Because you don't (we don't) make a move like this without hearing from the One we give our lives to. And what Adam heard was, "how many times do I have to tell you to go?" And so, we're going.
Most likely, we'll be moving in August. Most likely, we'll be moving to Phoenix in August, although the location is still not definite. Why Phoenix? Well, it's not as crazy a move as it may seem to some, especially the Colorado contingent. Yes, it's big, and yes, it's super-hot in the summer. It's also 1-2 hours away from family...I was born in Tucson and spent every spring break there until I was a senior in high school. And home to 2 of the schools Adam has been considering all along. And pretty cheap to fly to-and-from, especially in the summer (because who wants to be in Phoenix in the summer??)

It's not 100% yet, but we're making a trip down there at the very beginning of June to look at houses and check out the area. There is a possibility that we won't end up in Phoenix...but if it's not Phoenix, it'll be Indiana or Montana (seems random, I know, but trust me it's not!). Either way, we'll be moving in August, once our lease runs out and in between weddings I'm photographing and classes Adam is taking this summer and next fall. There will be quite a bit of back-and-forth for me thru September, because I have weddings scheduled up here and in Durango, but it's not an issue since tickets are so cheap!

It's a bit surreal, thinking about moving out of Colorado. Adam has lived here since he was 8; I moved here {from Arizona} when I was about 8 months old. I lived overseas for 6 months in high school, and Adam has of course spent a lot of time in France, but neither of us has lived anywhere else in the States. Exciting? you bet. A little crazy? well, not yet but if we find a place in June it will be! I'm looking forward to getting settled into the town where we'll be for the next 3-4 years, at the least. We've loved being in Ft. Collins again, loved being by my folks and re-connecting with old friends, loved having free babysitters (thanks, Grammy & Grandaddy!); we love our church here, too. But we have always, always had in the back of our minds the time when we'd be leaving, again. Sometimes I feel like we're constantly living in transition-and have been from the moment we knew we were leaving Durango, back when Pax was 14 months old. I'm ready to be...planted again for awhile, I guess. To be able to set down some good, solid roots again in a place where our kids will remember living {although I'm pretty sure Pax will remember Ft. Collins, I know-sadly-he doesn't remember living in Durango and B won't remember living here}.
I also know that, although we're moving away again, we won't actually be away from our family. That's how it worked out when we left Durango-our family (by blood and by choice) went with us. We've kept in touch, visited, emailed. And I know the same thing will happen again this time. I know it will be hard to be so far away from my parents for a lot of reasons; but I also know they'd come to the ends of the earth to visit us {or, at least, their grandkids!}.
So here it comes again...more packing :) one of my least favorite things to do, packing up the house....but I'm getting pretty good at it!
I know I might be coming across as a little flippant...but, truly, this whole thing is a huge step of faith for us. Basically, we're moving and trusting God to see to the details-house, Adam getting into a program (the first time around!), everything. That was the whole point, really-this move would be a step in faith, not knowing the details or even if it will work out, but trusting what we've heard from God now and in the past, and...just going. Trusting. It's not always the easiest thing, for sure. Especially with two littles who depend on us for everything; I think if we didn't have kids, it'd be totally different. But-another step of faith. Because that's what we've built this life of ours on-faith in a God who is infinitely good, infinitely loving, and infinitely wise. A big, crazy step...but that's what faith is. Unseen; seemingly irresponsible or ridiculous to some--just stepping out, one foot at a time, in the direction we know He's pointing us.

Pax: 3.5

2011-05-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

do you know my Small Son?

he's smart and stubborn

energetic and silly

helpful and {wants to be} in charge

loving and rough-and-tumble

strong-willed and snuggly {sometimes}

people-loving and curious

and very, very, VERY busy.

He's also 3 and a half.

How did THAT happen??

Who are you, again?

2011-04-30T13:21:00.000-07:00

It's been windy this spring. Like insane, blow-my-littles away kind of windy, almost every day. And the area our little condo is in is, for some reason, a wind magnet...some days I seriously think our house might blow down.
Besides being really not fun in the allergy department, I think the wind has made us all a little crazy. Well, actually, I KNOW it has....

Yesterday afternoon Pax ran outside for a bit while his Daddy was putting something in the car. Soon after Adam came back in, we heard him outside shouting...

"Hey Wind! WIND! WIND!! STOP BLOWING!! I told you....STOP BLOWING!!"
I think he was trying out the whole Jesus-calming-the-storm thing.
Too bad it didn't work...

But we sure got a laugh out of it!

My Mad Scientist

2011-04-27T13:16:00.000-07:00

alternatively titled, The Story of A Colorado Easter Egg.

Springtime in Colorado is always an adventure...you just never know what you're gonna get, weather-wise. Last Saturday, it snowed. It was also the day before Easter, and, since the Daddy was working and there were eggs to be dyed, I decided to call it a Jammie day and break out the dye.
Pax was SO into the dye-making...fascinated by what happened when we dropped those little tablets into the vinegar and they began to bubble. So involved, in fact, that when we forgot to make a yellow and I told him I'd make it while he started dying eggs, he refused. Insisted on sitting on the counter until the yellow was dissolved; just stirring and staring.
He was equally fascinated by the actual coloring of the eggs...which I left mainly to him, with a little help when he needed it. He dyed eggs last year; but it was over in about 3 minutes. This year he SO loved it. Totally fun!
And where was Little Bit during all of this?

she dragged her favorite little green musical chair over to the sliding door, sat down in front of it, watched the snow...and sang over and over, "DaDa, DaDa, DaDa, DaDa....", she knew it was a day Daddy was supposed to be home. And she didn't like it. So she just sat, waiting to be the first one to see him push his bike through the gate.

My sweet little Daddy's girl :)

That's all. No big crazy story, no messes, no drama. Just me n' my babies spending a sweet, snowy, day-before-Easter together.
I love days like this.

B is for....

2011-04-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

...bowling!!
Even Little Bit got in on the action...and took over Pax's frames, with Daddy's help. After about 4 frames, Small Son decided the computer was a bit more interesting. Maybe he's going to be an engineer....or CEO of a company, at least. He likes be in control of things :)

I, on the other hand, definitely benefited from the kiddie bumpers...much to my husband's chagrin. What can I say? My bowling skills have gone down-hill since high school. But we had fun! The coolest part? When we walked in, we recognized 3 of our previous youth kids from when we were youth leaders at a church here in Ft. Collins. They immediately recognized us, called us by name...it was so fun to see them all grown up & hear about their lives now...and the sweetest part? One of them comped us everything when we went to pay at the end. The shoes, the game, everything...
it's pretty neat to see that our lives, and the things we do with them, actually DO make a lasting impact on people. Especially because I know those kids made an impact on my life.

It's Official...

2011-04-20T19:17:00.000-07:00

I have (another) new hobby. You know, 'cause I just didn't have anything else to do with my time....what can I say? I love color. I love pattern. I love fabric. I love to create. I especially love to create colorful, beautiful things for people that I love. And now...

I love to quilt.

I kinda jumped on the idea while we were at my aunt's house in Tucson last February; this is my first completed quilt...kinda. I made one for my little niece Violet, without a pattern or any idea of what I was doing, which was certainly made with love but perhaps not the prettiest thing...although my sis-in-law was so very sweet about my efforts. I now have a much higher appreciation of all things amazingly quilted, including the hand-quilted beauty that my other aunt made us and which will once again grace our bed as soon as it's warm enough. But THIS little quilt is for the tiny baby girl of another family I love very much...the 3rd daughter of my sweet friend Megan and her crazy African husband Benjie, the ones I went to LA to visit last February. She's due mid-June {but she won't make it that far}. So, Meg-here's a sneak peak :)

{not-so} Wordless Wednesday

2011-04-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

they say I'm a (slightly blurry but still cute!) little French princess....

...I think Mama needs to keep the good camera out. Too much cuteness to not be prepared!!

Best cookie-dough sampler in town, hands down.

D-Town

2011-04-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

Soooo....we'll be making at least a quick trip to D-town the weekend after Easter. I know this is shameless, and I don't usually ask this kind of thing but...anyone down there interested in booking a photoshoot while we're in town? If you are, let me know...then the kiddos and I could stay longer :) just putting it out there....

B and the...well...the Bee.

2011-04-16T19:33:00.000-07:00

Or the wasp, to be more accurate. The kiddos were outside on our little porch playing happily last week, as I ran around trying to get stuff together to go to the park. I listened as I ran, of course; and soon I heard the Big Brother telling Little Sis "No, B! (yes, he calls her B, too) Don't touch it! Leave it alone!!" this was shortly followed by Little Sis crying, which soon escalated to her screaming...so I hurried outside to see what was going on, fully expecting it to be the typical sibling, she-touched-my-bicycle-he-moved-my-hand-away kind of thing. What I saw, however, was Pax stomping aggressively on something on the ground. "What's that?" I asked "It's a BEE! I told her not to touch it, Mama!" he insisted, still stomping on the bee (a wasp, actually, on closer inspection); at which point I think I mumbled something incoherent about being a good big brother and grabbed my screaming daughter, rushing her upstairs to where, among other things, I knew we had some benedryl. I looked at her tiny hand (not easy, when she was still screaming in pain and trying to pull away!) and at first didn't even see where she'd been stung...but I DID see the stinger still in her hand. Apparently she thought the black-and-yellow striped bug was pretty, and picked it up for a closer inspection. Not a good idea, just FYI...poor baby. I had to dig the stinger out with tweezers before I could even get her to calm down or make sure she wasn't blowing up like a balloon...I was pretty sure she was breathing fine, because I was pretty sure my hearing wouldn't be by the time I got her calmed down. It felt like it took forever to get the stinger out. I washed her little hand, finally seeing the actual sting on her pointer finger; gave her a little benedryl just to be on the safe side...and took her down stairs to watch her finger and hand slowly swell up 3 times bigger than usual. Seriously. It was crazy. I also called the nurse at our pediatrician's office, just to be on the safe side...pretty much she told me I'd done the right thing, to keep an eye on her, and if she started having trouble breathing to take her straight to the emergency room. Just what every mother wants to hear. At least with Adam working at the hospital I wouldn't have to worry about him meeting us there! Finally, after all that, I called Adam at the lab. Mostly because my adrenaline was still pumping like mad and I wanted him to know what we'd been doing with our morning.

Once B had calmed down, Pax crept over to us where we snuggled on the couch. "Can I give her a kiss now, Mama? Is she calming down?" he asked me, snuggling up to my leg. After I told him he could and that she was ok, he gave her a very sweet little kiss and she cuddled up with him...they really are little buddies already. I love it! I attempted to get a picture with my point & shoot of her hand to show Adam; it didn't turn out very well but she wasn't up for a photo shoot. Can't say I blame her!You can see the red mark where she got stung; this is only about 1/3 swollen. Her whole little hand swelled up too. Pax was so sweet and worried about her...I told him how proud I was of him that he'd been trying to protect his baby sister, telling her not to touch the bee and stomping on it afterwords. We talk a LOT about how, since he's the big brother, he needs to be especially nice to litter kids and look out for them....amazing how many bigger boys we've meet lately that just aren't nice at.all. to smaller kiddos. Adam and I want him to learn to be a protector of the smaller and weaker people he meets in life-gentleman may be an old-fashioned word, and I don't in any way want to take away my son's rough-and-tumble boy-ness, but that's kinda the idea. The gentleman part, I mean. But seeing him take action to protect his sister was pretty neat. I hope they always have that kind of relationship.

....and I'm super happy to say that little miss is NOT allergic to wasps! Sadly, however, a few days later we learned she IS allergic to peanuts. Just like Pax was at this age; although her reaction wasn't as severe. Can you see the red hives all over her face? It was another benedryl-and-watch-closely situation, only Daddy was home that time. Didn't seem to bother her in the least, other than being a little itchy-but I'm very thankful for benedryl!As much as I love learning new things about my children, I think I'd like a little break now....

Spring Fever

2011-04-07T12:42:00.000-07:00

As my little family drove to our chiropractor appointment today, I spied the first blossoming tree of spring...beautiful white blossoms covering a giant tree on a road we don't usually drive down. "Look, Pax! Look at the flowers on that tree! Aren't they beautiful??" {I do this a lot. I notice random little things and point them out to him...he, in turn, has become super observant and now points out every firetruck, "policeoffice car", "ambilace", semi-truck, and-of course-"TRAIN!!" that he sees. but I digress.} "Awww.....it's so CUTE!" my 3 1/2 year old responded from the back seat. At which point I started to silently crack up. Then, after a few beats of silence... "Actually, I didn't see it, Mama. I just didn't see it." At which point I lost it completely. Thanks for affirming me, big boy. And for your honesty.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-04-06T11:48:00.000-07:00

Small Son about 14 months old...D-town.

Sugar B about 14 months old...Ft. Fun.

thru Small Son's eyes

2011-03-29T12:32:00.000-07:00

My small son is always, always wanting to take pictures with my cameras. Perhaps because he'd like ME to know what it's like to constantly have a camera in my face...anyways. He's not allowed to touch my work (re:expensive!) cameras, but last summer on one of our hikes we let him use the little point and shoot. Now, whenever he sees it out, he wants to use it. After naps one day last week I had it out to snap some quick pictures and he asked nicely....and he found the zoom lens.not too bad for a 3 year old, eh?And yes, I know I look utterly silly (and sweaty! I had been working out during naps). But what, I ask you, do YOU look like when a 3-year old points a camera in your face??

Wordless Wednesday: thru Daddy's eyes

2011-03-23T10:47:00.000-07:00

Spring Break....

2011-03-17T19:11:00.000-07:00

....was a flop. At least, the spring break visit-the-far-away-family trip we had planned was a flop. Today marks the first day 10 days that there haven't been lots of liquids coming out both ends at our house. And I couldn't be more thrilled :) And, although we were bummed we didn't get to see our family...and then bummed that we had to cancel our last ditch attempt to "get away" to Denver with the kiddos on Wednesday...I'm SUPER thankful that we didn't drag a super-sick kiddo (who is already prone to motion sickness) over several mountain passes and then force his sick body to endure a whirlwind of friends, food, and attempts at fun. So what did we do? WElll....
nothing. Just rested, cleaned up after sickness, rested some more, did more laundry in 4 days than I have in the past month (pretty sure our sheets have never been so clean...they both only threw up in their beds once, but managed to hit ours about 10 times. Each.) went on a few walks to air out, see the chiropractor, and do a major grocery store run because I'd perfectly coordinated the emptying of our fridge with our scheduled trip. And, of course, Adam and I tried not to get sick. Which means I've practically sterealized our entire house (spring cleaning, anyone??). We DID manage to make it to a very cool pool in the next town over today and thoroughly wore our kiddos out in 45 minutes-they both crashed in the car at 11:45 and Small Son slept until 3:30. So much fun and totally worth it! Adam is coming down with the crud now; I'm not feeling fantastic myself. Too bad he has to go back to work tomorrow. I so hate seeing my kiddos feel so very crummy...especially when there's just not a lot I can do to help. I've never seen Pax sleep so much or Baby Girl be so fussy. Poor things were miserable. I cannot even describe to you how very, very, very thankful I am that my husband was home this week! He's such a great dad- and, let's face it, it's nice to know you can leave the clean-up to someone else and just take care of washing the sick kiddo off-or vice versa. So. We know how to party, eh? We gotta work on this Spring Break thing...

Wordless Wednesday

2011-03-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

....have I mentioned I love my job??

Adventures of the Cupboard Dweller.

2011-03-10T12:28:00.000-08:00

Alternatively titled, the most disgusting thing I've experience with my kids, to date. **FAIR WARNING: If you don't like gross port-o-potty stories, or bodily functions make you gag...PLEASE don't read this**. For the rest of you....a little glimpse into our lives :)
About a week and a half ago, the littles and I headed out for a little park-time. It was beautiful out; almost-warm and sunny, and we were all antsy. So we headed for one of Pax's favorite parks around here- the "dinosaur park", as it's known in our family. After a little (very little!) playground time, the boy began to run up and down the large hills and trails surrounding the playground...I followed with Littlest, "chasing" him and having a wonderful time. Pretty soon, though, my slightly-too-strong cup of morning coffee began to kick in...and I realised I had to find a bathroom. Preferably as soon as possible. Around here, the parks close their bathrooms in the winter...don't really know why, but they do. Since we were up high, I looked around--and spotted it. That turquoise-blue rectangle of dubious cleanliness called a port-o-potty, shining in the morning sun. I began to hurry my kiddos towards it, knowing there was no other option. We crossed grass, weeds, and parking lots as quickly as possible; I opened the door, helped Pax inside-and gasped. Disaster. The MOST DISGUSTING port-o-potty I have ever, ever, EVER seen. Seriously, it looked (sorry folks-gonna get graphic here for a second!) like someone had had explosive diarrhea--everywhere. I stood there for a minute-but there was no other option. I COULDN'T make it anywhere else. I sort of squatted over the hole; and that's when Pax actually LOOKED at his surroundings. And immediately began to dry-heave. "DON'T LOOK!! DON'T LOOK!!" I yelled, visions of my small son adding puke to the disgustingness filling my head. He hurriedly turned away...and then peeked back over his shoulder at the horror again. And began to dry-heave. Again. BOYS! I kept yelling, "DON'T LOOK!! DON'T LOOK!!" and he kept turning away, peeking back over his shoulder, and dry heaving. Then the baby toddled over to touch the potty...I frantically told her "NO! DON'T TOUCH!!" at which point she looked at me, her face crumpling as the tears started; and she LAY DOWN ON THE FLOOR OF THE PORT-O-POTTY. Gaaaaaahhh!! I quickly reached for the toilet paper just wanting to get my babies the heck out of there...and there was no toilet paper. And, of course, I'd left the diaper bag in the car. I'm pretty sure I would have started crying at this point...except for the part where I had one child about to puke and one child about to make ME puke as she lay on the floor. Necessity being the mother of invention, I quickly tore up the cardboard toilet paper rolls and got us out of there as fast as I possibly could! We burst out of the door--ahhh, fresh air!!--and started heading back toward the park. All I could think about was the packages of sanitizing wipes in the car that I was prepared to wipe my children down with from head.to.toe...and then I heard a sweet little voice. "Mama, that was a YUCKY potty!" "Yes, it was, baby," I agreed.
"Mama...I need to go potty,"
I crouched down. "Are you SURE?" a nod. "She She (it means pee in Portuguese...it's what we call it at our house) or poop?" I asked, dreading the answer. "she she! she she," he hurriedly assured me.
Thank goodness, I thought, because even if it wasn't we'd be diggin' you a hole to go in before we went back in there!
The next weekend, we went back to that park with Adam.
"Daddy," Pax said as we turned in, "there's a yucky potty here. It's a YUCKY potty!" Adam laughed and agreed with him, having heard of the trauma already. Pax was quiet for a minute. Then, "Daddy," he added, "I don't need to go potty here,"
HA! I'll bet ya don't, little guy!
And, yes, this story was truly so horrible that I felt compelled to share it ;-)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-03-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

One of my verymostfavorite people. Ever.

Diary of a (Pre)Med-student('s wife)

2011-03-08T06:36:00.000-08:00

I've spent the last 3 nights looking at diagrams of dissected cats & brains, helping my husband study for his Anatomy & Physiology midterm today...and although I'm more than happy to help him study...I may never eat another chicken wing again. (there's a reason he's the one getting into medicine)

Once Upon a Snowman

2011-03-05T14:31:00.000-08:00

Last week, at the tail-end of a nasty cold my kids began passing back and forth as soon as I stepped off the plane, we had a beautiful, fantastic, lovely snow. The kind that is perfect for making snowmen. You know, very wet and mooshy and not too cold the day after...perfect snowman weather for my not-so-good-at-being-winter-Coloradoans kiddos.A certain little boy insisted he wanted to make a snowman...Daddy decided it needed to be a giant snowman...and so it began. Although I'm pretty sure Adam did 90% of the actual building of the snowman.

And, yes, I know my daughter only has a sweater on-please don't report me, it was really quite warm by this point and she was only outside long enough for me to document the snowman-making. I promise! TaDA!! the finished product.

As soon as I snapped this picture, Adam turned to his small son and asked him if he wanted to knock it down.

KNOCK IT DOWN?? you just spent a half-hour building this thing!! I thought to myself...but Pax shouted "YEAH!!!" (of course!) and I switched to video mode....this is the difference between boys and girls. Girls like to admire their handiwork for a bit...boys just want to tackle it. And each other. I'm so glad I have one of each!

Thankful Thursday

2011-02-17T05:00:00.000-08:00

Shhhh….do you hear that? It’s the sound of me relaxing. Completely, utterly, totally relaxing. By myself. Because, you see, my husband got me one of the best Christmas presents EVER…a trip (by myself) to go see one of my favorite people in the world (and her family….by myself) for about 3 ½ days. Did I mention I get to go BY MYSELF?? Please, don’t get me wrong—I love my family. I adore my husband; love being with him and the life we have. I love being the mama to my two sweet littles. Every mama knows, though, that sometimes---you just need a break. And my fantastic husband gave me just that. The gift of a break. Of time…. to relax, to enjoy being with a great friend, to talk and laugh and see what their life is like now that we live several thousand miles apart, instead of several hundred feet apart.
I gave Adam a trip like this to go see his good buddy for his birthday-and I was completely surprised Christmas morning to see he’d done the same for me! I don’t think words can express just how excited I am…although it’s all very surreal. I can’t even picture what it will be like to fly by myself (which I haven’t done since I was planning my wedding), to be without my kids for more than 12 hours…(that happened last summer, photographing weddings). I haven’t been gone from B overnight yet. I haven’t been away from my husband AND my son since a good friend’s wedding when I was 6 months pregnant with the little girlie. I have absolutely no idea what I’ll do with myself at the airport without little ones to keep track of or take to the bathroom…but I’m pretty sure it’ll involve a cup of coffee and a magazine. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?? Not to mention that on the other end will be a fantastic women I am blessed to call a true friend and her equally fantastic family. I have no doubt that at the end of my trip, I’ll be more than ready to see my little family again. But for now, I’m just planning on enjoying my gift of time. I am so thankful today for this opportunity…so thankful for one of the best Christmas presents ever. And, of course, I’ll be taking my camera.

not gonna lie...

2011-02-15T07:17:00.000-08:00

It freaks me out a little when I open MSN and see "Egy*t inspired protests sweep the Middle East". My dad is in Saud* Arab*a again as we speak. Supposed to be there until the 17th of March. I have full confidence that God is in control of the situation; that He holds my dad in the palm of his hand; and that it is no surprise or accident that my dad is over there right now, in the middle of all of this. But if you think of him (or us), would you please pray? For wisdom and discernment on my dad's part, to know when to go out and when to lay low; for wisdom in the American-run corporations he's consulting with; for peace for my mom as I'm sure she can't help but feel a bit worried and helpless right now. At the moment they're still able to be in contact via Skype on his IPA* but who knows how long that will last if things get crazy. Thanks everyone...and Grandaddy, if you read this-we love you and miss you!

Giant Cactus and Road Graders

2011-02-11T13:07:00.000-08:00

pretty sure that sums up Pax's 2 favorite things from our recent trip to Tucs*n. That is where we went, just in case you didn't get that from the pictures of the huge, many-armed cactus. Although my son (unlike his mama at his age) has a healthy fear of sitting on the spikey things...but that's another story. And fair warning- this will be a long, possibly uninteresting post to anyone but family; but since this blog is also a sort of journal for our family-I'm gonna put in all the details!

We headed down south at the end of January to visit family; both of my dad's sisters live there as do 2 of my mom's brothers. It's where my siblings and I were born-we moved to Colora*o when I was about 8 months old (there, the truth's out...I'm a transplant!). I can hardly recall a spring break growing up that wasn't spent in Tucson; some times Christmas, too. But my kids haven't been there so much-the little guy, just once when he was about 5 months old. And this was, of course, B's first trip. It was a fun, fast 5 days; spent eating, catching up with aunts and uncles, and basking in the warm(er) Arizona sunshine. I'm never a huge fan of traveling without Adam; but with my mom along things went smoothly and, although I felt like I could sleep for a week when I got back, it was worth it! keeping connections with family is always worth it. And now, since it's taken me 3 weeks to get this post done and I have 3 more rolling around in my brain...a few pictures. My camera's battery misteriously was drained by the flight down, so I shared my mom's point-and-shoot...seriously, you should be thankful :)

The kids with my Uncle Gene, my mom's closest-in-age brother...he's only 12 years older than she is :) From the fort, Pax could see a giant, many-armed cactua (read:very old) that he pointed out to everyone who came out..."Look! It's a GIANT CACTUS!!!" It wasn't this one...but aren't saguaros COOL??The first 2 days were spent with my Uncle Gene & Aunt Marilyn. My Aunt Jean and Uncle John (my dad's oldest sister) joined us for dinner the first night; the next day we went to the Desert Museum, which is pretty awesome--what I saw of it as Pax raced through the 2 miles of outdoor desert trails and I raced after him. His favorite parts? The snakes (which B wouldn't even look at); the scorpions which turned green under a black light (which, I'll admit, were pretty cool) and a video of a volcano exploding, which we saw after walking through a cave. We saw some javalina (wild boars) and coyotes in their habitats, too. Have to say the coyotes looked much prettier than their wild counterparts. My kids, however, were much more interested in these:Yup, nothing beats a statue of the real thing and some dirt to play in. After some fantastic Mexican food that night with most of the Arizona connection (aunts, uncles, and a few cousins...I know someone got a picture of all of us; but it wasn't me, as I was trying to keep someone from getting refried beans and root beer all over the world), we went to spent the last few days at my Aunt Janet and Uncle Jimmy's house a bit south and east of Tucson. Pretty much they just live in the desert-but it's different out there, with lots of fun brush and sand and dirt and cactus...a little boy's dream :)Blythe and her Great-Aunt Janet...she's the one who taught me to crochet all those years ago!

A little early-morning digging in the wash.My uncle made a "tractor" out of a lawnmower engine and hooks up a wagon to the back to give rides on....Pax was a bit afraid of it at first, and just wanted to chase it. I suggested his little sis ride with him, and he jumped in and held her...they laughed the whole time! Gotta be brave for the little sister!

He's showing you his dumptruck...he's pretty sure everyone wants to see it as much as he does.We brought B's pack n' play to sleep in, but this is the little nest I made on the floor for my small son out of blankets, 2 sleeping bags, and some pillows. Looked pretty comfy! Our last full day there, we went back into Tucson and visited their Children's Museum, which was of course fantastic.In the little-kid "rainforest" play area...giant blocks!my little firefightersBaby godzilla!Inside of a submarine control panel...Pax LOVED this one! One of the best parts of the trip was when Pax came in from playing outside in the sand barefoot and told me, "It's ok, Mama, I'll just keep my toes on,". As if we would take them off like a pair of socks. All in all, a great trip-thanks for making it possible, Grammy!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-02-09T18:37:00.001-08:00

a hint of where the kiddos and I (and my mom) were a couple of weeks ago....'cause where else in the U.S. can you find cactus like these

and have your snow (ok, at least COLD)-bound babies think that 60-degree weather calls for swim suits and little else?

and yes, I'm quite aware that my Wordless Wednesdays are mostly anything but wordless. I'm working on it.

Look what I found...

2011-02-08T13:45:00.000-08:00

I'm working on a post about where the kids and I 2 weeks ago -but I got distracted by getting old pictures off my mom's camera card, and found these, and then started editing them a little, and, well, I just adore this picture of Pax meeting his baby sister...I so vividly remember our friends' oldest daughter Lily doing this exact same thing (in, I'm pretty sure, the exact same chair) after their 2nd daughter was born!

...and I really like that my dad is totally asleep in this picture but tiny B is wiiiiide awake, studying him :)
This one's from my dad's birthday last week-it's not old, I just like it!
You've come a long way, baby!
And I do apologize for the mainly-pictures-posts. Hopefully I'll find a half hour to sit down and write something of substance tonight! For now-more pictures of my adorable children, in case you've forgotten what they look like in the past 12 hours.

This n' That

2011-02-07T14:18:00.000-08:00

This is Dolly.

This is a dinosaur.

Dolly....

Dinosaur...

.....amazing hair.

Any questions?

Ah ha!!

2011-01-21T13:34:00.000-08:00

finally!! I won :) let the photo-blogging return!!
http://www.sunflowereyesphotography.com/blog

lskdhlkhdflh :):):)

2011-01-20T13:36:00.001-08:00

This is the text my little boy sent me this morning from his daddy's phone. or something close, anyways. I definitely remember the smileys, because I definitely remember thinking "how on earth did he figure out how to do that??".

I'm sorry we've been AWOL for awhile...let's just say we had, *ahem*, a visitor (nastily disgusting stomach flu) at our house for about 10 days....somehow my husband managed to avoid it (I'm almost ready to admit that there's really something to all the green tea he drinks...almost) but the kiddos and I all had it. I was hit the hardest, thank goodness, because I would never want my littles to feel like that-I called my mom in for the day because I could hardly get out of bed. SO thankful she's in town for times like that! And, you know, general grandbaby spoiling.

B's birthday party was fun...her birthday was fun...and now we officially have a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old :) and I'm remembering just how much I LOVE toddlerhood. Seriously--babyhood is sweet and cuddly and snuggly (and foggy); but I adore when my kiddos start walking and then running and playing games and talking more and more and, most importantly perhaps, sleeping really really well for more than a week at a time. I keep remembering all the fun things about Pax's toddler days; and I'm loving B's little personality emerging more each day. Each stage is seriously more fun than the last!

But all this growing-up has some serious thoughts floating around in my head about parenthood...and parenting...and being an adult...and accepting aging and life gracefully, joyfully, just plain fully! We've had some good discussions lately, that husband of mine and I...maybe someday soon I'll let you in on it. For now, let's just say we're grasping (probably for the millionth time) a bit more of what it means to parent our children WELL-the enormousness of it all. The forever-ness of it all. Or at least the until-they-get-married-ness of it. Not saying our kids are perfect (if you know them, you know they're simply human) or that we're perfect (if you know us, you know we're simply human, too) or that the way we parent is perfect (it isn't-and we also keep changing things about the way we parent as we get to know our kids' personalities). It's just a huge, beautiful responsibility we want to continue to dive into with joy, a little discipline, and a LOT of help from God.

Adam started a new semester today...the semester in which he will take his GRE and start applying for schools. Which is huge and so exciting and I'm totally stoked to go visit some potential new towns when he gets called for interviews (because, yes, I am praying that he WILL get interviews the first time around, and, more than that, that he'll get INTO a school the first time around). It also means once again re-adjusting our life for his schedule. I think we're getting pretty good at it :)

...my mind is going in eighty-five thousand different directions right now...once I get things sorted out I'll be back. For now-since it IS Thankful Thursday-I'll leave you with a few pictures of the ones I'm so very thankful for today.truly, my mom made last week so, so much easier on me..also, Blythe's party wouldn't have been nearly as pretty without her :)SO thankful I get to do life with this guy. He's pretty fantastic. Plus, I'm quite thankful that I WASN'T giving birth again yesterday!

Oh, and on my list of accomplishments for today? Working out HARD for the 4th day in a row (see ya, baby weight!) and "bandaging" a certain 1-year-old's cut finger with superglue. Pretty proud of that one, I gotta say :)

Happy Birthday, Sugar B!!

2011-01-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

My tiny, sweet Blythe Linn--how can you be 1 already?? It seems like just yesterday we were waiting (and waiting and waiting...) for you to be born. (B 1/2 hour old)

Tentatively counting the mild contractions that marked the start of your debut into the world; a start so mellow that it belied your feisty, silly, on-the-go personality. I love the way you fake-laugh when other people are laughing. I love the way you play with your big brother; the way you adore your daddy so much that, as soon as you hear the latch on the gate when he comes home at night, your arms and legs start dancing and your eyes light up and you yell, "dada!!dada!!dada!!" while throwing yourself into my arms....(10 days old)

I love the way your sweet grey-green eyes sparkle; your funny, deep baby voice that makes it hard to tell if it's you or your brother crying at night. I love that you'd rather play with people (your brother in particular) more than ANY toy...except for Dolly. I love how unexpectedly you fell in love with that tiny, 3-dollar Tar*et doll and the kisses ("mmmmmuah!!") and hugs you give her. (6 months old)

I love your little personality; how you already know how to tease your brother (although it drives me crazy too...); your sweet snuggles, your toddling steps, your little words, your busy, climbing, un-cautious dare-devil-ness.
Daddy and I are so thankful you're our little daughter, B. We didn't know what our family was missing-but it was you. Love you so very much, sweet pea...can't wait to see what your 2nd year holds :)(the last 2 pictures are from her little 1st birthday party last Saturday...more on that crazy day later!)Oh, and Happy 1st Birthday to little Miss Peyton, too...Blythe's 2-days-older little friend :) this picture is from when the girls were both 6 months.

Trying to learn...

2011-01-09T13:55:00.000-08:00

I stumbled across a shoot I did of Adam and Pax the summer before Baby Girl was born; Pax was about 22 months old. I LOVE these pictures of my two guys...and, since it's a snowy Sunday, I have some free time (!!), and I'm trying to teach myself some new editing techniques with the fantastic software Adam got me for my birthday...I had a little fun. So...voila! A little step back in time. Some of my favorites from that beautiful day in August of 2009

Pax was super cranky that day...I'm pretty sure this is the closest things we got to a smile all morning!

Adam took this one of Pax and me-it's one of the only preggo pictures of myself I actually LIKE. I'm about 5 1/2 months pregnant here.

and, fair warning...the next one is of my husband's booty. But it's my blog, and I like the picture and the edit on it--so, if you don't want to see his rear, I suggest you scroll down a bit :)

Yes, this is what I do to relax now....I think another snowy Sunday next weekend would be just the ticket!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-01-05T12:27:00.000-08:00

Always great when Big Cousin comes...

"Ayden, you don't NEED to go home!"

Always sad when he leaves.

the Toddler School of Life

2011-01-04T12:35:00.000-08:00

AiAiAi!! now there's TWO of them...

for the first time ever, on the way to a little birthday party Pax had been invited to, I almost had to pull over to separate my children. Yes, my 3-year-old and my almost-1-year-old. And it was the little almost-1-year-old who was causing the trouble! She kept reaching her tiny hand over to touch Pax's milk cup. Well, Pax likes his things a certian way, so he asked her to stop (which she totally understands); I told her no touch...she kept doing it. I looked back-she gave me the sweetest, most angelic little smile. And stopped touching the milk cup. And started putting her baby doll on her brother's "side". Which continued to drive him crazy. So he began to growl like an angry bear (truly, that's what it sounded like!) at her and push the doll away, again and again. Again, I told Blythe "all done" and, at a stop, turned around to take the doll away. She looked at me with that sweet, sweet smile again...and laughed.

And it hit me.

My 11-month-old already knows how to tease her brother. He likes things a certain way--AND SHE ALREADY KNOWS IT.

Looks like there won't be room for anyone else in our car anymore...her seat will be moving, soon. Much much sooner than I expected, thanks to the little pixie. She may look innocent, but...

And that little party Pax went to? well, "little" may be an understatement-it was a crazy party for a 3-year-old (one of Pax's little buddies) with LOTS of kids of all ages. On the way out, we had the typical discussion about behavior (you know, in between the big-brother-baiting): We talk nice to kids, not nasty; we don't hit or kick other kids, etc. (not that Pax usually does those things, but it's always good to remind a physical little boy of the rules BEFORE the chaos and sugar hit). At the party, there were several 6-8 year old boys there, running around doing little boy stuff-only these boys weren't so nice. And their mothers obviously hadn't had the we-play-nice-with-kids discussion beforehand. They liked to play the "you can't play here" game. Which worked pretty well on the other little kids, who simply went somewhere else to play when the bigger guys bullied them. My son? Welll....

When the biggest of the boys tried to push Pax away from the gate dividing the upstairs and downstairs, telling him he couldn't go down, Pax insisted he COULD, in fact, go down. Which was true. They went back and forth a bit, with Pax becoming more and more adamant that it was ok for him to go downstairs. The bigger boy held the gate closed with one hand and tried to push Pax back with the other.

so what did my stubborn, determined, confident little guy do?

He obeyed me perfectly.

He didn't talk nasty to him.

He didn't hit him.

He didn't kick him.

He did, however, lean over and bite the big boy's knuckle.

Guess I forgot one.

But somehow, I couldn't get too mad at him...am I crazy, or should a little guy have SOME way to defend himself against bigger kids who bully them?

I want my kid to be polite. I want him to treat others with respect.

But I still want him to know it's ok to tell people no if they're treating him in a way he's not ok with. I want him to be able to stand up for himself, his sister, or any other kid who is being picked on. And I don't want to completely squash the determination, stubbornness, or aggression that are part of his male-ness...just refine them a bit and teach him how to be wise in using those things.

Am I completely wrong?

That's the thing about the Toddler School of Life...I'm never sure just who is in school!

But didn't they look adorable on Christmas Eve?

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-29T12:04:00.001-08:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-22T05:00:00.000-08:00

{because there are no.words. for the joy these two bring to my life}

The Fog.

2010-12-21T13:11:00.000-08:00

There's a time for Adam and I that starts pretty soon after that sweet, new, much-awaited bundle arrives that we affectionately refer to as "the Fog". I suppose if people are honest (which, for some strange reason, a lot of new mothers are not...) everyone goes through The Fog. It's that time when day and night blur into one long, long day; when our focus turns inward to our little family unit as we work to establish feeding schedules, sibling adjustments, healing of sore bodies, and try to find out what the new "normal" looks like with another little person in tow. It's a season of nursing, of catching a catnap whenever you can, of weeding out the things in our life that aren't the MOST important things in order to leave room for the things that have become the most important. It's a season of slow changes; of small, 2-degree adjustments made until things are back in alignment. The Fog took us both by surprise the first time around (but then, everything took us by surprise the first time around...including the baby). I knew-WE knew- things would change after Baby. Just how much they would HAVE to change in order to have a healthy marriage and a healthy family-that was the surprise. As was the small son who didn't sleep through the night consistently for a long, long, long, LONG time. I don't think I even realized how long the Fog lasted with Pax. With little B, we knew it was coming. The surprising thing to me this time was that THE FOG HAS LASTED JUST AS LONG. Silly me, I thought perhaps with the second one things would be gone quickly! (Actually, in a lot of ways it IS easier the second time around....like the part where we actually feel like we might have a little bit of an idea what we're doing now...)
I think the Fog is a good thing, really, in many ways...it forces us to focus more on our children (and our marriage) than we would if everything went instantly back to normal after I'd given birth. If we had stayed just as busy, just as committed to our outside endevors that sweet little bundle we waited so long for could've easily been shunted off to one side. The downside of the fog is, well, if you're not careful you can forget there's even a "normal" world out there that you're still part of. Because the fog can last a long time...for us, at least, it seems to last through the first year of life. It's not always the heavy, dense fog of the newborn days; it gets lighter and is more of a haze, I suppose (I sound like I'm describing San Francisco in the morning). The point is, I'm just starting to feel like we're coming out of the fog. Baby girl turned 11 months old last Sunday-although, really, I don't know how that happened since I just gave birth to her. I can see her changing from baby to toddler before my eyes. She's communicating more every day, plays with her brother until they both are breathless with giggles, stands on her own, climbs the stairs like it's her purpose in life, and has weaned herself off of all but 1 feeding a day.
That last part she did within the span of a week and no, I was not ready for it. But there's no arguing with an 11-month old who won't stay still long enough to nurse, and therefore doesn't eat enough, and therefore wasn't sleeping very well. I gave in and gave her a bottle before bed-the kid slept like a champ. Totally worth it.
and now? the fog is lifting. I can see the end her nursing days drawing nearer. And then what?
When you've had 2 kiddos in 27 months-although I know it's much farther apart than the babies of some of our friends-having your body "back" to yourself almost seems like a luxury.
I won't have to think about nursing schedules.
or pumping.
I can wear regular bras again (seriously....can't wait to go to VS!)
and finally lose this baby weight, as my body seems to think we're on the verge of a famine and it must hold onto every.ounce. in case I need to nurse until my baby is 5.
I can travel without my kids--not saying I have any plans, but the fact that I COULD is kind of fun.
And, let me tell you, photographing 6 to 8 hours for weddings this summer will be MUCH more fun when I'm not nursing.
My kids are actually both sleeping through the night, in the same room, successfully, 75% of the time. Which means that Adam and I are getting maybe 4 or 5 nights a week of solid sleep (well, at least when the kids aren't sick. or teething. or having nightmares...) Pretty sure between being pregnant (which does not equal sleep for me) and the babies themselves that hasn't happend in over 3 years.
I can see the fog lifting--and I'm so excited for this next year and all it holds for our little family. For the possibilities, the plans, the dreams God's given us to chase in 2011... just as excited as I am to celebrate Christmas with a 3-year-old who GETS it this year and an 11 month old who thinks paper is the coolest thing since sliced bread, and will probably spend all morning shredding wrapping paper with great joy while ignoring the actual presents.
I truly am thankful for the fog, and the opportunity it's given us to focus so very much on our little family. but I'm even more thankful to see what's waiting on the other side of it.

Thankful Thursday

2010-12-16T05:41:00.000-08:00

I am thankful that, right now, there's a little guy sitting across the table from me saying, "hurry, Mama! We gotta feed the kitty some Crispix!!"....bet ya didn't know cats like cereal, did ya? They do here. Although, it's not actually a real cat, so I guess I don't really know if cats like cereal here or not.
I'm thankful the snot-factory has shut down production (at least for the time being)and we are all healthy(ish) again.
I'm thankful for a day of Christmas shopping & a fun breakfast with my love tomorrow morning. I'm even thankful that we're doing it tomorrow because he has to work Saturday-the thought of facing all those weekend-before-Christmas shoppers makes me shiver!
I'm thankful for two happy kiddos who are excited for Christmas...even though one of them keeps getting confused as to JUST WHOSE BIRTHDAY Christmas really is (to be cleared up once and for all, hopefully, when we sing "happy birthday" to Jesus and blow out the candles in our sticky buns Christmas morning-a little tradition we started last year); and the other hasn't the slightest idea why she's so excited...I might be mistaking her excitement over her new found abilities to climb all the stairs in our apartment and stand up by herself (both of which she discovered while Daddy was in France) for Christmas joy. Maybe.
I'm thankful for my husband's foresight in buying a cord of wood about a month ago-took me all day to move most of it from the yard outside our place into our little fenced-in patio, and he still had to finish up when he got home. But the fires all day every day when it's cold are so worth it! Our utility bill is happier, too :)
I'm thankful for the little girlie calling me now from her room, because, although my children get up waaaaaay to early, at least they slept all night! And I got a shower. That's pretty darn good for us, this week.
Happy Thursday Before Christmas! May your shopping be done and the cookies delicious.

Planning.

2010-12-14T05:57:00.000-08:00

I got up early with the intent to take care of some business emails and edit pictures from a family session I had on Saturday...but my son seems to think that if I'm up, he should be up; and so between potty breaks and trying to keep him in bed (and quite) until a reasonable hour, I can't focus on the images long enough to get anything done. So I'm blogging instead. And seriously considering getting my 3-year-old his own alarm clock and teaching him how to tell time. Lucky for me, the emails I had to write were to
a) one of my brides for this next summer, who also happens to be my "little" cousin
and
b)another prospective bride
which means I already have 3 weddings to start planning and dreaming about for the summer....which means a lot of fun, and a little nervousness. I always, always get nervous before a shoot. I think it's good, though-keeps me on my toes. Weddings just tend to make me a bit more nervous than, say, the newborn shoot I did last month, or the Christmas card shoots I've been doing since then. Weddings, in case you didn't know, are a BIG.DEAL. Which means a fair amount of pressure as the photographer to, you know, NOT MESS IT UP. So thankful for digital!

But already having 3 brides for the summer has made me start to think about my business again. I started this whole thing without a very clear idea of where I wanted to go with it; now I'm constantly thinking about that, as well as how my business can be used to bless & help people. It's time to do some serious planning. Not necessarily a 5-year plan; but thinking and praying about a purpose statement for my business-why it exists-what I can do to become a better photographer-some steps i can take in the next year to get there. I don't want this to just "maybe happen". I have a pretty clear idea of where I'd like to see this whole photography thing go and some hard work to put in to get there. But I'm not afraid of hard work. Since things will most likely slow down after Christmas, I'll have some more time to plan and dream. And, even better, to take action. Baby Girl will be weaned in about 6 weeks; I'll have a little freedom to go to workshops and things like that. I'm excited. The only photography class I've ever taken was one in high school, which was mostly about how to develop photos in the darkroom. Photography is something I'd really like to be good at-but not just so I can say I'm a good photographer. I'm incredibly thankful for the opportunities I'm being given, and excited to see where this all goes.

About a month ago, our church had a big Orphan Sunday Concert, raising awareness about the programs our church has that help children both here in our town and abroad who are orphaned or in the foster care system. I was asked to be the photographer; and although it was completely different than the things i usually do (and therefore made me realize just how much I have to learn!) it was so much fun to stretch myself like that.
I know I'm rambling; and since it's now 7 am and Pax is officially out of bed I need to go. Just hadn't blogged for awhile-but obviously not for lack of subjects. I wanted to let you in on a bit of what's brewing in my brain...

Christmas 2010

2010-12-10T07:27:00.001-08:00

Retro Plaid Christmas Card

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View the entire collection of cards.

Wordless Wednesday : i love my job

2010-12-08T08:08:00.000-08:00

Fantastic!!

2010-12-02T09:56:00.000-08:00

Oh.my.gosh. My sister-in-law just made my day. She doesn't know it yet, but she will :) Why, you ask? Cause she blogged about this, which is a super-fabulous 50-Christmas-card give-away one of my favorite photocard sites (Shutterfly) is doing this year....why is this so fantastic, you ask? other than the fact that I love a good deal (who doesn't??). Well-- I love Christmas (of course!). And one of my most favorite things about Christmas is exactly what this give away is all about: Christmas cards. I mean, what's better than lots and lots of pictures of all those people you love, especially the far-away ones?? Well, actually, they ARE a bit better if they come with a short (or long!) newsy letter about what's been going on the past year....but.

When I saw Tiff's post, it reminded me that

a) I haven't made a Christmas card yet this year

and

b) it's December 2nd. Guess I should get on it, eh? Although since Shutterfly can address and mail you cards for you (you know, if you're one of those non-letter-people) it is a little less pressing. Except if, like me, you can't decide which card you like best....and seriously, I'd post them here to show you & help me decide- I've already made 3- but I'm not sure if that's kosher or not. Seriously, I've run into this problem EVERY YEAR for the past 4 years on their website. And they just keep coming up with more beautiful cards! So just click on the link above and you can have fun guessing which ones I'm playing with...and pick one out for yourself, too! and send me one, while you're at it. Maybe with one of those nice, newsy letters I so adore. They also have some beautiful things that would make great Christmas presents....like their wall art...and calendars...and decks of cards with your kids' faces on them (what grandparent wouldn't want that??).

{not-so}Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-01T02:00:00.000-08:00

for my love in the far-away land of croissants and stinky cheese...
smooches from your train-obsessed little buddy
a game of "soooo big!!" with your 10-month-old princess

...and as for me? {I don't think I will EVER not miss you when you're gone}

J'taime beaucoup. Para siempre,mi corazon. (and yes, I know those are 2 different languages)

Sweet Will

2010-11-12T14:03:00.001-08:00

This is what I'm working on right now...

Check the other blog on Monday for more 18-day-old sweetness :)

Afraid of.... what??

2010-11-11T05:00:00.000-08:00

Pax was playing trains before naps Tuesday, while I fed the baby. Nothing unusual there.
Suddenly, he ran across the room and jumped onto the couch next to me.

Me: "What's up, buddy?"
P: "I'm just gonna hide behind you, Mama,"
Me: "Why? Is something scaring you?" (Climbing behind us is his usual M.O. when he sees something on TV that scares him, hears his daddy coming to "get" him, etc.)
P: "Yes,"
Me: "What is it?"
P: "I'm just scared of the poop, Mama,"

To which I had absolutly.nothing. to say.

Wordless Wednesday: Orphan Sunday Concert

2010-11-10T05:00:00.000-08:00

Just in time.

2010-11-09T12:23:00.000-08:00

It's cold and rainy today, for the first time this fall...snow's in the forecast for tomorrow. Looks like I finished the kids' new winter hats just in time! FYI, for those who crochet or care...the rose on B's hat (which, I must say, is my FAVORITE of all the pattern I've tried for flowers...) was super easy to make-crocheted in a strip, then wound and sewn...love, love, LOVE it. Pax's hat is the same colors as his daddy's-he wanted it that way. And when he puts it on, he looks uncannily like Adam's mini-me...

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-03T08:08:00.001-07:00

A little pre-Halloween trick-or-treating, through Daddy's eyes...

Autumn

2010-10-21T13:36:00.000-07:00

I love this time of year. I don't think I can put my finger on why, exactly...
maybe it's because of the memories
of bonfires and the sound of quads echoing through the air (that's the band geek in my talking..) and football games...
of parades and cross-country meets and long runs in sunny, crisp fall afternoons
of bringing home our firstborn son to trees just beginning to turn to gold
Maybe it's because I'm a child of the autumn (I turn 27 on the 27th of this month!).
Maybe it's because the crisp nights and warm days bring with them an anticipation of the holidays...which I adore.
Maybe it's because of the little-girl who comes bursting out of me
when I see carpets of red and gold leaves begging to be jumped in (confession: I use my 3-year-old as an excuse to be about 8 again when I see leaves on the ground...)
Maybe it's because it was this time of year- 7 years ago- that I found myself falling in love
with the wonderful man who would become my husband.
Or because 4 years ago (in about 2 weeks) my then-boyfriend proposed to be in the middle of a beautiful Colorado autumn.
against the backdrop of a autumn-blue sky (as only Colorado can do an autumn-blue sky)
Maybe it's because of the insatiable hunger for color inside me
that the reds and golds and greens
satisfy like no other season does.
Maybe, this year, it's because I don't know if, 2 years from now, I'll be in a state that "does" fall like Colorado does.
Whatever it is--I'm reveling the fall this year. Can't wait to go hiking tomorrow to see more beauty. And am seriously considering another trip to the park this afternoon, where I spied a fresh blanket of gold on the grown last night...
anyone want to join us for a jump??

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

To our Small Son

2010-10-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile, I look at him and think...how did this happen?
how did you go from being our sweet, tiny little bundle of surprise
to being our high-energy, train-loving, talking-a-mile-a-minute, people-loving little BOY?
Because you are not a baby any longer.
I can't, in good conscience, even call you a toddler...not that you ever really toddled. More like skipped straight to flat out running.
BUT.
I wouldn't have kept you a baby for the world
for if I had, I would have missed out on this.
The sweet little smooches on my cheek
The little arms around my neck
The "snuggle me, Mama."
The (oh-so-serious!) discussions about trains and tracks and coupling rods and tenders and shunting cars and "bein' an engineer when I grow big...you can drive the diesels, Mama. I'll drive the BIIIIG steamies!" (don't know all those words? You must not have a train-obsessed boy living in your house...)
I would've missed the stubborn fits and "I don't HAVE to!"s...which I may or may not have been happy about. Ask me in a few years...
But I would've missed the sheer joy on your face as you run or climb or swim
your sweetness with your baby sister (although "gentle" doesn't seem, somehow, to have translated...in French OR English)
your help baking cookies
and building track
and the sweet times in the evenings when you snuggle up in my lap
and we read story
after story.
Although I miss your sweet baby face
I love your inquisitive little-boy face
even more
and each day with you in our lives is a blessing
Small Son, your Daddy and I love you very, very much...
We didn't know it. But God knew
we needed you in our lives.
You made me a Mama, and him a Daddy
and taught(teach!) us so much about God
and his grace towards us
everyday as we learn to parent you.
Happy 3rd birthday, Pax William...October 2nd, 2010.
Sorry about all the pictures...I couldn't choose!!

Road trip!

2010-10-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

No, not us...although that may be coming up in the near future. This time, it was Adam's grandpa who made the road trip. Now, mind you, Grandpa is 90. And his road-trippin' (and driving) buddy will be 80 this week. Which is, in itself, slightly frightening. What may be even more frightening is that they do this at least once a year, all over the country, going to visit relatives (Grandpa) or to motorcycle gatherings (his buddy John). And both of them wear hearing aids that seem to help only marginally...and they both attempt to use cell phones but can's leave or receive voicemails...
About 2 weeks ago, we got a call from Adam's mom that grandpa was heading their way, and might possibly come up our way too on his way back to the mid-west. On Friday, she called again, to let us know that Grandpa and John had left and were headed to the Springs, then up our way Saturday morning. Now, mind you, we hadn't actually talked to Grandpa at all...but that's kind of how he rolls. About noon on Saturday, we got a phone call from John that they were "here"...but which here? You see, rather than at a hotel, Grandpa was going to stay at my parents' house, since they were out of town. That's where we were waiting for them. We figured they'd call when they left, or at least when they got close. But they didn't. So, they somehow found their way to our house, Grandpa wandered around for awhile-didn't find us there, so they made their way to my parents'...they knocked on the door-we were in the backyard, so didn't hear it. Finally, they called. Adam ran out front, telling them they were at the right place...and watched them drive away. That's what happens when you're 80, can't hear, and try to use a cell phone.
Long story short-they got here, we had a nice visit, Small Son was SO good & mellow (well, for him...John still remarked on how "high-energy" he was. Oh, if only he knew :) and it was great to see them. Pax got to meet his great-grandpa for the second time; Blythe for the first; and I got some pictures, of course!
It's always nice for me to see Grandpa- I never met any of my grandparents, so he's the closest thing I have. I got to meet Adam's grandma-a tiny, sweet little lady-on a quick trip out there after our honeymoon. She died literally the day after we left, so the fact that we got to see her one last time was pretty special, too. Grandpa's doing pretty darn well for 90-his shoulders are a bit weak, he sometimes acts uncannily like my 3-year-old, and he can't hear worth a darn of course- which made his interaction with the little dude pretty funny- but he's still going strong. So great to see him again! Maybe they'll come up our way again next year....

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

hmmm....I COULD...

2010-10-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

The kids woke up unusually early Saturday. I think it's a rule for them...they're in cahoots to get up RIGHT when we begin working out. Today, it was yoga day-started at 6:20. At 6:25, Pax started calling me. Tried to get them to both to go back to sleep-but nope. They were both downstairs by 6:35. We kept doing yoga; B thinks it's funny and Small Son likes to crawl underneath us while we do planks and stuff (it's a "tunnel", you know). He also thinks it's fun to try to do the poses-which is pretty funny to watch, really. At one point, we were doing a "chair"pose and had a little conversation that went something like this:

me: "Pax, you have to be super strong to do this. Are you super strong?"

Pax: "hmmm....well, I AM strong..."

me: "can you do this?"

Pax: "hmmm....well, I COULD do it...."

silence. Adam is trying to hold the pose while cracking up.

Pax: "uhhhh....No thanks. I'm just busy right now,"

and he proceeds to try to use the circles on my yoga mat as train tracks.

Well, okay, kid...if you ever get a minute and want to try it, just let me know...

seriously, this kid cracks me up.

B is for building

2010-10-07T14:14:00.000-07:00

Lots of it. In fact, if you hear the sound of power tools coming from our fenced-in porch at all hours of the day and night, don't be alarmed. It's just us, doin' what we do best-well, at least doing what we are learning to do pretty darn well. It's my fault really-I started it. I usually do, not that Adam needs much to get him started-he truly loves to build things and has learned enough over the 4 years of our marriage to become a much-more-than-decent carpenter. Our place in D-town had a beautiful changing table/bookshelf that he built when our small son was on the way (I stained it when I was about a week & a half away from giving birth and got scolded by a friend of ours...hey, I was outside! It was well-ventilated!); and a shelf in our bathroom he built because he couldn't stand my girl-clutter any longer. He worked long hours in the youth room at the church with a friend of ours and another young man (who's dad is a carpenter...good tips there!) pouring his heart into building a fun, modern, place for "our" kids to hang out.
Then we moved in here. And our box spring didn't fit up the stairs. And I told him I'd had enough of sleeping on the floor in college...so we started to look, plan, and scheme. Oh, but first he built a book shelf based off of one I'd seen at Super Tar*et-I would've probably just bought that one, but he wanted to make a sturdier one; and it's truly much cooler than the one at the red & white store would've been. And very needed, since the amount of books we now have seems to have increased exponentially in the past year.
But the bed.
We looked at some big furniture stores around here, talked about what we liked (thankfully, MOST of the time we have the same taste!), and decided we didn't want to spend $600- 1000 on a frame we could make (ok, he could make-but I helped!) ourselves. I remembered a website I'd found on my friend Jill's blog (thanks, friend! It's quickly becoming my new favorite blog!) and hopped on to look for a plan. Came home from California. Found it. Bam. Done. Built it in a day, including shopping for the supplies. Took a bit longer to finish it (ie, paint it & then distress it) because of general chaos in our lives; but here it is! With the paint, primer, screws, wood, etc-cost us just about $100. NOW THAT I LIKE. Super sturdy; high-quality look; low(er) budget. I.love.it. and it is soooooo much more comfortable than sleeping on the floor!! But the best part? Working at a project like this with my hubs. Seriously, it's so fun to build stuff together-mostly because WE have so much fun together. It's quickly becoming one of my favorite things to do with him-the planning, the designing, the measuring, the cutting, the building, the painting...you get the idea. There are lots of things we enjoy doing together; this is just a new hobby we're learning about. And something we can do without the kiddos-although Pax does love to "help". On a compleatly differnt note-isn't our quilt gorgeous? I take absolutely no credit for it. My aunt made it as a wedding gift; it's all hand-quilted (seriously boggles my mind..). She asked me when we got engaged what colors I wanted; it was Adam's idea to use our wedding colors. We finally got it last spring, and it was totally worth the wait. I love the contrast with the red.

.....and for those of you who are waiting to see Pax's finished birthday present-It's coming. It's done, actually, and he's sleeping in it (yes, it is a VERY COOL BED too) I just have a few more details to paint on it-- and I cannot show it to you until it's totally done. Thankyouforyourpatience.Haveagoodday.

Got milk? part duex

2010-10-07T13:31:00.000-07:00

I got to meet someone very special yesterday, face-to-face.
Remember the little baby girl I wrote about in this post?
Yup. That's her!
Sweet baby girl is 4 1/2 months old now...thriving...and I am so glad that I finally, finally got to meet her in person!! Pictures had to be taken, of course, of these two sweet little girls I've been blessed to help thrive. Connected in a unique and very special way that they won't even understand for years-after all, if it wasn't for Blythe's birth, I wouldn't have been able to give little A any milk. I'd heard through the grapevine that little A's family would be leaving the state for the winter; and since it's pretty expensive to ship frozen milk & dry ice, I contacted her mama again to see if there was any way I could get them a (3rd and probably final) batch of milk before they left. I'd given her a second back in July, when she was up here photographing a wedding (yes, she's a photographer, too...an incredibly talented one!). She told me they didn't have any plans to come our way before they took off; I couldn't find anyone who was headed their way to send it with (and kept kicking myself for not sending it back with the Other Blegers when they came to visit...). It didn't look like it was going to work out-they leave next week. I sent up a little prayer along the lines of, "Gee, I really wish I could get them one more batch of milk!". That was it. Then, Sunday night, I saw a message in my inbox from A's mama. They were, unexpectedly, COMING TO OUR TOWN. Not for the best of reasons-a great-aunt had passed away-but they could come get the milk!! I was so thankful and hoped that, just maybe, I'd get to meet in person the sweet little girl who's face I'd seen many times, and whom my baby girl has been sharing her milk with. So yesterday we arranged to meet. And when they showed up the first things baby A's momma said was,"I'm bringing her in, so you can meet her!" YAY!! She's so sweet, so chubby, so blue-eyed and perfect-I put my own sweet girlie down next to her tiny "friend" and-of course-documented the moment. I hope that, somehow, we can keep in touch over the years; and maybe someday these two tiny buddies will share a special bond that goes far beyond the milk that they share right now.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-06T05:30:00.000-07:00

A blog with substance

2010-09-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

Awhile ago (really, I think it was sometime in August...) my friend Jill gave my a sweet little award. Which was a little crazy to me; but I'm very honored, because it's nice to know that my ramblings mean something to someone other than me. Even if it's just Jill ;) Basically, when you are given the award, there are 2 rules:

The Blog With Substance Award has just 2 simple rules: sum up your blogging philosophy in 5 words and pass the award onto 5 other bloggers!
I'm going to break the first rule (sorry, Jill! I know how you feel about rule-breakers...) because the tag line at the top of my blog summarizes my blogging style perfectly : Life through the eyes of one of God's worshipers.
As for the 5 bloggers I'm going to pass it on to?
First, there's Adventures of the Loya Family. Some good friends of ours who we knew way-back in our early dating, Ft. fun, working-with-teenagers-pt.1-days sold their house, bought a 5th wheeler, and have been traveling all over the country for Jonathan's job (he builds tanks...like the huge, 70-ft high holding tank kind, not the military kind). Their daughter wasn't much more than 1 when they started; they've since added a fun little boy; and she home schools. All in a 5th wheeler. I LOVE hearing about their adventures!
Next, there's Sarah at A True Story. Sarah and I first met on stage when we sang in the band together in D-town..her love of fun, shoes, and (of course!) the spotlight made us instant friends (you may recognize them from my posts about their engagement and wedding, which I was lucky enough to photograph last April!); her beautiful heart and passion for life keeps us friends, even though we don't get to see each other as much as I'd like.
Then there's Megan at Eternal Made Reality. I can't even begin to put into words how much this woman and her friendship-and her family- have blessed my life. I miss living across the street from them, so instead we keep up on Fac*book, phone calls, and stalking each other's blogs :). Which *ahem* by the way, Meg, you haven't written for awhile...hint, hint. And consider yourself forwarned, girl- my hubby has already promised to send me out there for a few days once the baby is weaned...
Fourth (or is it fourthly?) I have Kari at The Wee Warrens Kari and I have literally grown up together- we met in preschool, and made it through Jr. high and high school together. I love being able to see what she and Will (her high school sweetheart-we were all in band together. YAY bandgeeks!!) are up to now-and, of course, to see pictures of sweet little Chloe!!
Finally, meet Emily at Meme Simply. Emily is my nephews' mother; she handles my nephew's "Colorado family" with grace, as well as being very good about making sure our family gets time with Ayden (my nephew). The rest of the time I keep up with what's going on in their lives through her blog (of course!) If you visit her blog, you'll probably recognize her oldest son (of 3!).
So there you go. The 5 blogs with substance I'm giving this award to...hopefully they'll keep up the spirit of the award and pass it on! (c'mon, ladies!)

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-29T13:16:00.001-07:00

She

2010-09-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

Is 8 months old already. 8 months. I can't even believe it. Actually, she's 8 months and 8 days, today. But who's counting?

She
weighs just a smidgen over 14 pounds
and is not quite 25 inches long.
She's a peanut.
But she's super strong...been standing holding onto tables and couches for a couple of months already, with a toy in one had...she pulls herself up and flips and rolls all over the world, although she isn't full-on crawling yet.
She looks an unbelievable amount like I did as a baby. I'll try to scan some pictures and post them, to prove it.
She says "heeey", "hi", "dada" (what is that? BOTH my kids said dada long before mama..), "dog" (again...why do both my children learn this word before mama??) "all done" (although it's more like "a duh" with the signs to go along) and, today, she said "this". She sings and boogies along to any music she hears. She adores her big brother, and no one can make her giggle quite as fast as he can. Or cry quite as fast as he can. She won't touch pureed baby food-never would-or baby cereal; but grind up some "people food"and she's all over it. Pot roast veggies, spaghetti, black beans, sweet potato fries...you name it, the kid eats it. Don't ask me how she stays so teeny; the girl eats more than her brother does.
She is turning into her brother, in terms of nursing...which means if there is ANY distraction, it's..well, not fun for me. Let's just put it that way.
But she's sweet and snuggly and flirty and smiley and just a wee bit clingy...which took us by surprise, after Pax. She smiles at everyone but needs a few minutes to warm up from our arms before she'll let you hold her. And the nursery at church? Well, let's just say we're working on it. Another complete shock after Mr. See-Ya-Later-Mom!
She has her mama's eyes (they're even starting to turn green!) and her daddy's mouth and her brother's grin.
She is so beautiful.
She is so sweet.
and we can't imagine our lives without her.

See the progression? That's what happens when your brother loves you not gently, but too well!

Can you guess?

2010-09-27T13:08:00.001-07:00

There are two little (ok, not really so little) elves hard at work at our house this week, because my small son's birthday is this Saturday. What are we making? I'll give you a hint.
It has something to do with this

and this

and this

but that's all you get. Any guesses? C'mon, it's not like I made it hard (I'm not very good at keeping birthdayish secrets). Birthdays are a big deal at our house...and I.cannot.wait. to see small son's face when he sees his gift.

Just because...

2010-09-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

a certain train-loving, groovy-dancing, strong-willed, story-loving, snuggle-bug, money-earning, burrito-eating, song-singing, super-ticklish, fishy-swimming, belly-laughing, rock-climbing, always-talking, pretend-playing, people-loving boy will soon be three...

Shine.

2010-09-13T13:14:00.001-07:00

"Dreams are great, and planning is a lot of fun; but God has called us to shine in the mundane."

Our pastor said this during his sermon yesterday, and it grabbed hold of me. Hasn't let go since...shine. in the mundane. not "make it through"; not "excel' ; not "get everything done and be considered the perfect wife/mother/employee/whatever because you made it through your check list". Shine.
What does that MEAN??
That's why it caught my attention.
I love to dream; my husband and I have some big ones, including a certain large, single-story-with-a-loft-and-a-guesthouse-and-trees-and-a-garden-and-a-saline-pool-house-that-would-also-be-a-place-where-pastors-could-rest-and-be-ministered-to (sorry for the Christianese..)..*ahem*. Sorry. Dreaming again.
But shining in the mundane? A little harder. And, I would argue, more important. Because I have a sneaking suspicion that, although the big trips and events of our lives DO shape us to some degree; it's in the little, everyday, mundane things that our character is built. The big things, I think, tend to be more tests of our character. But if you haven't taken the time to BUILD your character; when the big stuff comes-good or bad-you tend to break under pressure. or at the least get super stressed out and forget to enjoy it after all the planning.

I have a little thought buzzing around in my head that shining in the mundane has a lot to with perspective, priorities, and attitude. All of which are up to us, really.

I'm NOT talking about being "happy" (at least on the outside) all the time. I'm NOT talking about pretending everything is ok when it isn't. Neither am I talking about being a "oh, woe is me....I'm being "real", kind of attitude.
It has more to do with your heart.
About where true, unending joy comes from.
About learning what your priorities are
and how to set healthy boundaries.
About understanding that you can only truly excel at maybe 5 things at a time; so you HAVE to say no to some things (or at least, "not right now,") in order to be the best you can be.
For me, those 5 things right now are
1) God. Always...cause if He's not, the rest gets messed up...and I can't do any of the other things very well on my own, anyways.
2) Being the best wife I can be (yes, I do believe that my husband comes before my kids; although sometimes the obvious things like feedings and potty breaks will come first!)
3) Being the best mom I can be (this, I'm learning, depends very much on the first two, with a heaping dose of a good sense of humor and flexibility needed!)
4) Photography (something I love, that I want so badly to develop (ha!) more and get much, much better at)
5) Worship (another passion-not just singing, but becoming better musically, learning a new instrument, and stepping into opportunities as they come...always room to improve)
Here's a secret I'm learning. These things will change during my lifetime (well, the last 2. The others not so much).
Soooo...that's what I'm working on this week. My Priorities. My Perspective. My Attitude. I control all these things...and perhaps, once I have (with God's help, of course...really, I'm pretty useless without it. Especially the attitude part.) gotten these things lined up, I can truly shine in the mundane.
And that would make my life (and hopefully, at least my husband's & my kids', if no one else's..)just a leeetle...well...SHINIER. What about you? What 5 things do YOU want to excel at? And-goodnight!!-HOW do you shine in the mundane?