Comfort zone

Today was the first day of MOPS at the church we are attending here. I've been super excited about this, because, although I went to MOPS only once in Durango, I figured it'd be a good way to start meeting some other mamas, maybe make some friends...and heaven knows I'm missin' my friends. Adam is always amazed at how big of a deal having good relationships and spending time with those people is to me...not to make him sound weird, he's a guy, not a hermit...but women, well, we're just wired differently then guys. Guys need relationships, too-but not the same way we ladies do. Or at least, my husband does not seem to need them the same way I do. I thrive off of being around people, having TRUE friends, and I left some amazing ones in D-town. Still my dear, dear friends, yes, but life goes on, and things just change.
Anyways. Back to MOPS.
After dropping off Pax ("see ya, mama!" yes, my kid may have inherited my "social neediness" gene...) and getting set up at a table, eating, meeting some new mamas, all that MOPS jazz, the pastor of women's ministries at the church came up to talk.
She was great. She talked about comfort zones, getting out of them, the GROWTH that God does in us when we step out of them...and I started thinking.
1) My ONLY comfort zone right now is my husband. Maybe my kid. I've gone from "pastor's wife" and well-known (face, at least, perhaps voice..) at a small church in a smallish town to wife of a pre-med student, living with my parents (which, although a blessing, is not a comfort zone...it's very different to live with your folks when you are married with kids than when you were the kid), depending on God every week for our income, trying to start a new business venture, one friend that I actually see, starting to go to a huge church (8,000 members is a bit of a change from 500!) a month ago where you don't even know if you've seen the same person twice except for the pastor; auditioning for a worship team of AT LEAST 30-40 people (I made it...that's another post, though...I've never actually auditioned for a team before. Good experience.) and pregnant. Which, for me, means I cry a lot and can be moody. To sum it up, no comfort zone in sight.
2) God is teaching me so much through this. I can't even write about it all now, still processing so much....but I do know this: so many people find their comfort zone and stay there until they are FORCED to leave it. By God, by man, whatever. I know lots of these people...and I'll tell ya: they're missing out. Hugely. God's best work in me (well, in my narrow view, anyways) has always been when I'm out of my comfort zone. This doesn't mean it's fun, it doesn't hurt, or that I even go looking for opportunities out of my comfort zone as much as I should...but it's always, always amazing. And I know this time will be, too.
3) If you are settled in your church, your town, your crew...reach out. Please. As an advocate for all newbies everywhere, I'm begging you! It's not easy to leave everything behind and start over, again. It's even harder when you're married and have kids, oddly enough. To have someone genuinely care, see your newness, your lonliness, your "I have to pee but I don't know how to get to the bathroom"-ness long enough to really talk to you-not just say hi and ask your name, which they forget 2 minute later-makes you an angel for the day in my book. And I'm not even shy! It's just so nice to not have to ALWAYS be the one trying to make a relationship happen in a group where everyone has all the relationships they "need". I've been here many, many times over the past 10 years, and it doesn't get any easier to be new. (Well, ok, at least this time everyone speaks the same language as I do, so that's easier)
But seriously....
meet new people. ask about their lives. talk for 5 minutes and LISTEN. And then, if you like them (maybe even if you don't!) ask them to coffee. or dinner with the fam. or to a playdate at the park or something. step out of your comfort zone and let them into your lives, BEFORE you know whether or not they will be a friend. It could seriously change someone's life....maybe even YOURS!
Maybe that doesn't seem like a "big enough" step out of your comfort zone, but, for the newbie, it's huge. And God will work through it. And you will never be the same. And that's a very, very good thing.
ok. off my soapbox. Thank you to all the people who have reached out to me in my past newbie-ness, and who did change my life. Even if you don't know it.