A night of worship...and barfing.

After a great week with our family, we finally headed home from Ft. Collins yesterday morning. We figured that since Pax had woken up at 4:45 AM (his cousin left for the airport and was very awake...thus Pax was, too!) that he'd be sleepy and nap for several hours on the way home. We hit a little bit of snow, drove around Conifer trying to get to the drive-thru Starbucks, and didn't have too many other complications on the way home. Except for a cranky 13-month old. He slept maybe 2 hours...now I understand why my parents always drove through the night! We slept 3/4 of the time! But we got safely home and little Pax was so sleepy he went to bed at 7 after asking for "nigh-nights" (now, if you know my kid you know he must be REALLY tired to actually ASK to go to bed!). It was nice for us...I think we went to bed about 8:45! He slept till 7 am, was a little sleepy and grumpy at church, and fell asleep on our 45-second drive home at 1:15. I didn't think much of it until he woke up an hour later crying. I went in to see what was wrong, and found him covered in barf. Cleaned him up, put new clothes on him, put him in bed, and he rolled over and slept till 4. We kept hearing little wimpers and fusses...at one point I went in to check on him, but he was sound asleep. Just moaning, poor baby, because his little tummy hurt. After he got up, he snuggled with me on the couch. We gave him a little milk, and I was thoroughly enjoying his snuggles until...a huge burp. And then puke. All over both of us. Now, he's never had the stomach flu before, so between our inexperience and his bewilderment (how do you explain THAT to a 1 year old??) it was...interesting. I finally just picked him up, blanky and all, and put him in the tub. Adam stripped him down and we showered, cleaned, ect. Once clean and dry, I began to think about the night of worship tonight at our church, which I was supposed to sing at. I knew Pax couldn't go (puke + church=bad idea!) so I texted Benjie, our worship leader, and told him the situation. I was bummed-I love nights where we just focus on worshipping God, and I love being part of the worship team. But, as my friend Jill noted in her blog, it kind of comes along with being a mom and in ministry-sometimes you have to sacrifice things for the good of your kiddos. So I told Adam I'd stay home with Pax. Well, my smart, thoughtful husband mentioned that since it was a worship night, it made more sense for him to stay with Pax and me to go. Usually these things are kind of all-hands-on-deck with the pastors, so I hadn't even considered this. But he called up our senior pastor, told him the situation, and asked whether he'd prefer to have Adam there or have me sing. So I got to go! It was such a blessing to me...I'm incredibly thankful for the thoughtfulness of my husband, who knew how important this was to me, as well as being thankful for a senior pastor who believes in us and encourages our dreams. Pax did wonderfully for Adam while I was gone-just very cuddly. Of course, later as I read him a bedtime story he puked all over me again (why Mom both times?? Why not Dad??), but now he is sleeping sweetly and I pray the rest of the night will be peaceful!


Thankful Thursdays...Thanksgiving edition!

Happy Thanksgiving to all! So much to be thankful for today...
 1) My husband and father, who are willing to play hide and seek for hours with my sweet nephew...Grandaddy is the BEST hider EVER! No one found him.

2) For all the people who work so hard on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade so I can enjoy it on the couch in front of the fire.

3) For the tape that makes it easier for my broken knee to run with my husband.

4) For the 6 beautiful pies on the counter, and for the hands that helped to make them all.

5) For our great station wagon. It got us here quickly and safely, and will get us back home, too. A wonderful, long-awaited answer to prayer!

6) Coffee. And the special morning runs to Starbucks with my mom...I miss this so much when  I'm in Durango. There's just something so special about our coffee times.

7) For eyes that can see my family, arms that can hug them, a mouth that can laugh with them, and a body that can play!

8) Blessings. So very many blessings....poured out on us. Thank you, Lord.

9) So thankful that the holidays are here!

10) For our healthy, joyful little boy, his strong legs and stronger will. 

I hope wherever you are today, you take a little time to be thankful for all that God has blessed you with...and then go enjoy some pie!!



We're up in Ft.Collins this week, at my parents...this is the town I moved to as a toddler and grew up in...where Adam and I met and began our relationship...where we got married...where my parents still live in the same house I grew up in. It looks a little different now, and my old bedroom has been turned into the "grandbaby room" for my 5 year old nephew Ayden and Pax, but we always love coming here. Good people, good memories...anyways, we're been having a blast this week. Adam and I have gotten to go running together in the mornings while Pax plays with his much beloved older cousin, which is a real treat or me! I almost always run by myself, since I go after Pax wakes up and take the stroller. I miss having a running buddy! We just run and talk and enjoy each other's compay. Once we get home, we are immersed in boyland-a fun change for Pax from all his girl cousins. He loves those girls...but Ayden plays soldiers! and wrestles! and hide and seek! and blocks and army! And camping...this morning, when the boys invaded my parents' bed (a daily occurance for Ayden that Pax is learning about) the four of them found flashlights and camped. Apparently, mountian lions showed up...and as Ayden roared like a mountian lion, a little baby mountian lion copied him. He wants to do absoutly everything his big cousin does...which leads to the next exciting news! Pax is walking! Last night, as I played with him, he picked up his ball and started running towards me. No looking back! He's been walking (running, mostly) on and off all day...especially to his aunt Kristen (my brother's wife...yes, it is confusing!) He loves brunettes...and she loves that he'll walk to her! Tonight we're going swing dancing with my brother Ehren and Kristen, and Grammy and Grandaddy are watching the kiddos. Another great thing about Ft. Collins...lots of dancing opportunities. We made 6 pies this afternoon...I'm alittle afraid Adam will eat all the pecan. Gotta run and take the kiddo out of his highchair--I'll post pictures as soon as I can. Hope you al are enjoing your holiday as much as we are!


Thankful Thursdays

I need it today...it's already been a rough morning and it's only 10! So, a little time to re-focus.
this week I am thankful for...

1) A husband who is willing to sit down and talk with me at any time.

2)That above husband and I have learned to communicate in a way that works for us.

3)That my little boy is strong-willed, independent, adventurous, and curious.

4) I am thankful for naps.

5) I'm thankful for a great night at theWELL last night, and especially thankful for all the adults who worked so hard to help it come together!

6)I am thankful that we get to go to Ft. Collins in 3 1/2 days.

7)I am thankful for the way my parents spoil us when we are with them...it makes it so relaxing and fun to be there.

8)I am thankful for time with Sean and Jessica tomorrow night, and so thankful for the little girl growing inside Jessica!

9)I am thankful it's Thursday. The crazyness of the week is almost over for us.

10) I am thankful for pumpkin pie, and for the in-laws who baked and donated 12 of them last night. Not only did everyone get pie, but we were able to give away a few and just bless some people who had blessed us. I love doing that.


Step up.

I have a dream-a passion-and it's time to step out. I know this in my heart, in my head...but so often fear of the "what if" gets in the way. And now...with the changes that may very well be coming to my family sooner than later, I wonder....how can it ever happen? I know I was created to do this...know that moving to Durango was a leap of faith that God used to grow me and teach me more. To give me even more passion and clarity about my dreams than I had before. I know, too, that the next "bend in the road" will do the same. I am simply at the place where I can't see around that bend--and therefore have a hard time understanding how any of it can happen. But God has been saying it for awhile-"Step up. Step out. Why not now? " I feel like Indiana Jones, about to step off the edge of a cliff, having faith that something will catch me before I fall....but I don't see what it is. So...faith. I trust you, Lord. You are my Savior, my Friend, and I told you a long time ago...anything, anywhere. Anytime. Your will. Whether I understand it or not...You prove to me over and over and over and over that if I just trust you and step out off the edge...it's always better than I ever dreamed or imagined. Give me strength, Lord...courage...wisdom to know where to step next. Here I go..........!


Thankful Thursdays

Thursday again...what a quick week! Thursdays are fun...since Adam has the day off tomorrow, it's like our Friday night. So this week...

1)I"m thankful that I get to hang out with my family tonight, no plans...never know what we'll end up doing, and it's great! Might end up with friends, might rent a 99 cent movie from City Market and stay home. Just thankful for a little quality time with the fam!

2) For change. It's sometimes scary, and being in limbo is a hard place to be patient in...but I am thankful for it because it means I am truly listening for my Lord and Savior as He directs our family, and obeying.

3)For the chance to go to my parents' for Thanksgiving. It's been several years since we've gotten to go to the front range for Thanksgiving, and getting to spend this day with lots of family-aunts, uncles, cousins, nephew, parents....it's so busy and crazy and FULL and I can't wait!!

4) For the wonderful new (to us) car that will get us to Ft. Collins. I don't even have to think about wether or not it's reliable...so thankful for peace of mind!

5) For Ashley Desko and how much she loves our little boy. Knowing that she will be at our house tommorow night, playing and loving on Pax, makes my date night with my husband even more enjoyable.

6) For the blessing of a gift card from a very generous family who is helping to make our date night tommorow possible!

7)Beautiful late fall days.

8)Special holiday flavors being back at Starbucks and Baskin Robbins. It's a silly little thing, but I'm thankful for it because it makes the holiday season seem to start even earlier...and I love this time of year!!

9)That my son is finally sleeping through the night with absolutly no wake-ups. It's been a long road, but God has given us Grace for this season, for which I am also very thankful; and, like everything else, my little boy did it when HE was ready to do it.

10)That God created me as I am. I am still learning what this means in many ways; but I am so thankful for the way God created me. And that He created me to compliment to my husband, my friends, my ministry, my family...I bring something to all these areas that no one else can. For a long time I felt "weird" or "different"...now I am so thankful for it.



This past weekend, we had a prophetic conference at our church. I always love these weekends...so here were the highlights for me!

1). Worship. I am blessed to be able to sing on our worship team and even more blessed that God is calling me to a higher level in leading worship (this was actually part of the word that was prayed over me this weekend...exciting and a bit nerve-wracking!). One of the songs I got to lead this weekend was really a prayer, about waiting on the Lord and seeing Him break the chains that bind people-fear, addiction, hatred, loneliness, depression, on and on and on...as I learned this song before the conference, I knew that God had given it to me to sing. I have experianced His freedom in my life--seen the chains broken from many different things holding me back--am still experiencing them--and the joyful rush of the Holy Spirit flowed forth through me as I sang. To see and feel a church full of people worshipping the Lord with awe and passion--I pray and believe that this is what is coming for our church on a weekly basis, to be seen every Sunday, and not just when we have a conference.

2) Words and pictures from God. Before each worship session, the team prayed together. God gave me visions during these times of things happening in Durango and inside our church. Some of them were for others, one for our city, and some just for me-but just the fact that my God loves to talk to me like this is beautiful.

3). Friday night. After the session, we had a meeting for the youth that showed up. Adam and I are over the youth group at our church, and we wanted our kids to be able to experience having a prophetic word prayed over them. We've both experienced this several times in our lives, and it has always helped to guide us, bless us, and encourage us. So after service, we headed next door to our youth room with about 12 kids and a few leaders. I loved hearing God speak to these kids...tears came to my eyes as I listened to the words He spoke to them through Nick. We wrote down what we could while he spoke so the kids could have something to keep and remind them what God is speaking to them. Nick prayed over Adam and I, too...I am always so overwhelmed by God's love and excited by the glimpes of the future He shows me! We did an excercise with the students to practice hearing God's voice. This just confirms in me what I have always known--God speaks to everyone, young, old, male, female. We just have to practice listening, in order to know His voice from the others that invade our lives. God began to speak to me from an early age, both in dreams and in other ways, and I love to see the students we work with experience that, too. They learn to edify each other and let God speak through them to others at school, work, everywhere-and most of them are still young enough they havn't learned to be afraid to speak their minds. I love it!

4.) Sunday night. I know I'm skipping a lot here- and oh, my, there is so much more I could talk about! but in the interest of not making you read for an hour to get to the end...I'm being selective. Sunday night was a "family night", meaning it was just for those dedicated to our church. Nick spoke, as did our pastors, and we as a body dedicated ourselves to praying about things going on in the spiritual realm in our city (and will continue to do so). Afterwords, people stood in line for hours to have Nick pray over them, and as we fellowshipped with everyone my mother-in-law came to talk to Adam and I. What started as a fairly simple conversation soon blossomed into a deep talk between my mother-in-law and I. This may seem pretty mundane to some. But the two of us have never had a talk like this...not in any context. She opened up to me about desires to deepen her spiritual walk, to have the courage to stand for her Savior even if it could mean rejection from some she deeply loves; to have a deeper awareness and sensitivity to things of the Spiritual world but no fear. I thank God for this sweet time with Rebecca...to be able to share a bit of my spiritual walk with her, to be able to encourage her with words God gave me for her, and mostly just to listen. It was apparent she needed another woman to encourage and support her in her walk with God. Deeply in need of fellowship. Although I may not be her first choice, being both her daughter-in-law and not a peer, I was thankful that she still opened up. It was a very sweet time and I know something changed in our relationship last night. At the end of our time, I suggested that she have Nick pray for her, as well. Hesitant at first, she agreed- and the more amazing thing was that my sometimes very teenagerish 14 year old sister in law told her she thought I was right. So I went in line with her, introduced her to Nick (who was excited to meet Adam's mom, since he loves Adam) and wrote down what I could of what he prayed over her. The cool thing was that it was very similar and encouraging in the things we had just talked about. Afterwords she hugged me and thanked me. Out of so many, many beautiful, sweet moments God gave me at the conference, those with my mother-in-law just might have been the sweetest.


Thankful Thursdays

It's here again! all this week I found myself being thankful for things and then thinking-hey! I can use that this week in my blog! So you see, Linn, you have helped to create a (very thankful) monster : )

1) I am thankful for the roaring fire in my living room-and the husband who built it this morning. It makes our little home so cozy!

2) I am thankful for the little boy who just interrupted my blogging to snuggle.

3)I am thankful for down comforters on cold nights!

4) I am thankful for whoever invented bumGenius cloth diapers. They are easy to use, save us money, and give us a chance to help our earth a bit.

5) I am thankful for Sarah-who told me about bumGenius in the first place! You and your family are so dear to us and always will be, no matter how long its been since we've actually seen you.

6) I am very, very thankful for hide-a-keys.

7) I am thankful for snow!

8) I am thankful for the opportunity to lead worship at the AWAKEN conference this weekend.

9) I am so thankful that God is in control-not me.

10) I am thankful for hugs.


Adventures in Motherhood

This morning, i went with my good friend Megan to the rec center to work out. We had a great class, picked up the kiddos, and headed out into the rainy day. So far, so good. Well-until we got to the car. As I was putting a sleepy Pax into his car seat, he grabbed the keys and pushed one of the buttons on the door opener. Not thinking much of it, I took the keys from him and tossed them into the front seat, finished buckling him in, and closed the door. Slam! Oh no. I tried his door. Locked. I tried my door, the passenger door, any door...locked. Enter the freak out zone-I had just locked my keys in the car. And my one year old son. And my cell phone. What do I do?? I begin to search the car for the hide-a-key Adam and my dad made sure was on the car when we got it (do they know my too well?). I remember them talking about it, and making sure it stayed on after travel...I just didn't know WHERE THEY HAD PUT IT!! At this point, I'm lying on the ground (did I mention it's raining? and cold?) shoving my hand randomly up into any spot with the potential to house a hide-a-key...nothing. I peer at Pax- so far, so good. But I know if I leave the car he'll freak out. Still...what choice do I have? No phone. I have to get to a phone to call Adam and find out where the hide-a-key is. Thanking God it's raining and I don't have to worry about boiling my son in a hot car, I run across the parking lot, hoping Megan hasn't left yet...no such luck. How does someone with two small kiddos get in their car so fast?? Time for plan B... I sprint inside to use the rec center phone. By this point, I am full on freaking out--The last time I locked my keys in a Volvo, it took the AAA guy AN HOUR AND A HALF to break into it! Volvos are notoriously hard to break into...Swedish safety engineering and all that. And I just locked my son in one!! Aaaaaagh! All this and more is running in through my head as I frantically dial Adam's cell (just about the only number I actually know anymore, for the record...). No answer. Again. No answer. Again...by this point I'm screaming inside, banging the phone agaisnt the wall, screaming ANSWER YOUR PHONE!! but I flash a (probably pretty creepy) half smile at the people walking by, as they watch me madly dial. I'm nervous, can't stop moving, thinking maybe he fell asleep in the car!....Yeah right. This IS Pax we're talking about. I know he's freaking out, too...I keep dialing. NO ANSWER. Then I realize that Adam doesn't actually know it's me calling, this is a strange number, and he's doing sermon prep. Of course he's not answering. So I call the church office (bless the man who made that number so easy to rememeber!!) Our sweet front office/admin girl, Kelly, answers with a cheerful "It's a great day at the River Church. How may I serve you?" "I need Adam's extention" I burst out, probably sounding desperate and crazy and not even identifiying myself, but she's nice enough not to hang up on me and puts my through. Ring...ring....ring....ring....NO ANSWER. I leave an equally desperate and frantic message, along the lines of PICK UP YOUR FREAKING PHONE!!!! and go back to dialing the cell. No answer. Another message. More dialing. No Answer. My son has now been locked in the car for 5 hours (ok, 10 minutes), sobbing, screaming, alone. I hear someone say they need a maintenence man for a little project at the rec center. I briefly wonder if they've found my son, think he's been abandoned, and are going to call the cops on me...then continue to try the cell. No answer. In a last desperate move, I call the office again. When Kelly's soft voice answers, I identify myself and ask her to go tell Adam to ANSWER HIS PHONE because I have locked Pax in the car. I can hear her confused laugh as she agrees to go tell him. So I hang up and, once again, dial the cell. Finally, FINALLY, on the forth ring he picks up. "Hey," he says.
"Did you get my message?" I ask, so much adrenaline pumping through my body I could probably pick the car up and carry it home...except Pax would still be locked inside. "No," he responds-waaaaaaay to calmly. I explain my predicament, and he in turn explains where the hide a key is. I thank him, hang up with out saying goodbye, and dash out to the car. I stop long enough to peer in the window at Pax and see he is alive, then throw myself once more on the ground and search carefully for the little black box that will save us both. I peer up,up,up into the front undercarriage...thank you, Lord!!! The box. In two seconds, I have the car open. After putting the box back, I take my first good look at my sweet son--covered in tears and snot. Poor baby, he looks tramatized! I think, and kiss him. But (for now) all is well again. Adam calls as we drive away...."Are you in?" "Yes." "Whew...we would've been up a creek!" Really?? I hadn't realized this! "Are you heading home now?" (my sweet husband wants me home safe, where the mishaps I seem to regularly get into are fairly minimal) "No. I'm going to Joe's first." He laughs...he knows me all too well. There's something about chocolate and caffine that soothe the still-pumping adrenaline after an affair like that...don't ask me why. Cheesecake has the same effect.
I'm home now...Pax was overjoyed to get into the house and kept kicking his legs and laughing. Poor kid. Someday I'll be able to tell him about the rainy day when mom locked him in the car and then had to abandon him to get help...but for now, he's sleeping peacefully, and thankfully he won't remember any of this in a year. And in the meantime, please, please don't turn me into child services.


Fun at the Durango mall, harvest carnival, and football game...whew!

Last night was a fun whirlwind for us! We started by dressing up and going to the Durango mall, where Pax "trick-or-treat"ed for the first time ever. I made him a turtle shell and he wore his green fuzzy pjs, and he was absolutly adorable! If I do say so myself...anyways, we had fun walking all over the mall and seeing everyone. Pax was a bit overwhelmed at first, but warmed up quickly. We even entered him in a little costume contest...Jerome, Katrina, and Violet (Adam's brother and our oldest and youngest nieces) met us there. Pax wasn't too sure about Uncle Yay-Yay, since he was dressed as Sylvester the cat and Pax couldn't see his face, but once he heard his voice he figured it out. He tried to crawl into Violet's stroller to hug her (see the pics-Pax is exactly 1 month older than she is) and she kept looking at me like "is he really doing this?" he loves her...tries to wrestle with her like he does with Adam. The little princess likes him at a distance, mostly. He's a bit too in her face sometimes :) So we trick-or-treated with Hannah Montana for awhile, then headed out to Bayfeild. A good friend of Adam's is the youth pastor at the foursquare church out there, so we went to see them. Their little girl is 2 and calls Pax "sugar" all the time; their little 3 1/2 month old boy was dressed in a robe with a shower cap on and was pulled in a wagon filled with white ballons--he looked just like a little old man in a bubble bath! I wish I'd gotten a picture of him! Pax loved digging for "treasure" and "fishing" for ducks there, but we didn't stay too long. We had to get to the DHS football game! It was cold, and the team was loosing horribly, but we saw some of our students and Pax was pretty impressed with it all. he kept saying "wow! wow! Wow!!" and pointing at everything. All in all, a fun night! AND we went to the court house yesterday, took our ballots home, and spent some time filling them out. We dropped them at the courthouse yesterday evening before all of this, so we've voted! No lines on election day for us. Yay for early voting!!