Diary of a (pre)med-student('s wife)

I'm tired. So very, very tired...but why? My kids actually slept well last night (well, except for that wetting-the-bed incident). Maybe it has something to do with the 84,395 million things running through my head, which I tell myself I MUST somehow get done before we move next Tuesday (which include but are not limited to packing the house, final editing of the wedding I shot 2 weeks ago, and doing laundry, as well as working out. Although somehow, that one isn't working out (ha!) so well right now) I'm sitting at my computer, listening to Pax yell out every excuse in the book to get out of bed...a new trick in the past couple of weeks. And so very annoyingly frustrating..I keep telling myself that it's because of all the transitions going on; because he's a very strong-willed little guy and is head-deep in 2-year-old testing; because he (like most toddlers) doesn't like change and no matter that he's very smart and understands what's going on-he's still 2. Doesn't completely get it. So I need to have patience, and grace, for him. For myself. But sometimes...well, it's hard. Trying to keep him quite from naptime to actually asleep is the biggest challenge lately, but important, because our bedroom shares a wall with his and Adam is just on the other side of that wall trying to sleep. Of course, my son doesn't care about this and would rather wake Daddy up to play, nevermind that he worked all night and got home at 7:30 am. What does this have to do with being the wife of a pre-med student?
Well, nothing.
Except that the whole pre-med thing is why our schedule is like this; why my husband works at a hospital; why we're up in Ft. Fun again in the first place.
We're moving next week, into our own place, exactly a year after we thought we'd be moving out of my folks' home. It's been a year of learning to wait.
I'm not good at waiting. Or being patient.
But I AM better at it than I was a year ago (thankfully! or my husband might be in Hawaii right now...). And I'm getting a (very small) taste of what our life will be like for the next-oh, I don't know-maybe 8 years? Maybe more. Maybe less.
The moving, the studying, the crazy hours at the hospital that keep changing, the kids re-adjusting to the new schedule in time for it to change again...
and I'm ok with it. Really, truly ok with it. The schedule-crazy-kid-thing I'm still trying to figure out, as far as how to make it go smoother each time, but I figure by the time we get to the end of this journey I'll be a pro at it! Ready to take on any schedule they throw at us. And the moving thing? I actually like moving...it's an adventure, even if it's just across town. It's just the packing part I don't like. Well, and the part where my son gets so anxious (because, again, he gets it but he doesn't) that he flips out about his hands being wet. Or dirty. I can't remember which it was...oh, that's right, he flipped out because his hands were dirty, and THEN flipped out because they were wet. You know, after we washed them.
But the moving thing-I like it! We're actually enjoying the roulette game that will be moving for med (or D.O., or P.A., or whatever it ends up being) school because both of us have lived for most of our lives in Colorado. I do, however, understand why the boy doesn't like it; last time we moved, we told him he'd see all his friends and family in D-town again-but he thought we meant in like 3 days. Not 3 months. So, he's understandably a little worried about when he'll get to see Grammy and Grandaddy again.
I'm trying to figure out where I'm going with this.
I think this sums it up though--the Thankgiving before we moved to Ft. Fun, I spent a morning praying for my husband (which I do often-for him, and lots of other people, too). God gave me a word picture for him of a tree at dawn, maybe 10 years old, bare spring branches except for a few buds that were beginning to appear. Along with it came the verse Psalm 27:14
"Wait on the Lord; be Strong, take heart, and Wait on the Lord,"
I painted it for him as a Christmas present, and it hangs (well, hung; since I've already packed all the decorating stuff) on the wall in our bedroom. And every time this year, as jobs fell through, as school got crazy, as a new baby's birth approached, as decisions need to be made about when and where and how, we see it and read it-and it calms our anxious hearts. My anxious heart. And we've waited. And we wait. Not sitting and doing nothing, mind you-we try to make the most of each day we're given, and not live in expectation of what "might be" or "could have been". Just waiting on the Lord; taking our courage from him, our rest from Him. 'Cause I'm pretty sure (ok, I KNOW) I can't do this without Him. Which is a very, very good thing.