Night Terrors

Adam's on night shift again tonight-the start of week 2 out of 3 weeks training on this shift- and I'm scared. I'll admit it.
Last night, after a week of too little sleep for Pax-too many late nights interrupted by crying (he never sleeps well the first week A changes the shift he's working, for some reason), too many too-short naps because my nephew is in town, and my little guy doesn't want to miss ANYTHING; topped off by a horrible night Friday night which ended, for him and me, at 4:30 AM...
...add to that a tiny 30 minute cat-nap because we had friends in town (more about that later-so, so much fun!) and didn't want to waste a minute sleeping when he could be playing with Byron (and we let him...)
and you get what we got last night. Night Terrors.
Terrifying for me, anyways...he doesn't remember any of it. which is kinda freaky in itself, because, as you know if your kid has ever had night terrors-they seem like they are wide awake the whole time they're freaking out. Which for him was about 20 minutes last night.
Possibly the longest 20 minutes, ever.
He'd had a bad dream earlier in the night...we eventually brought him to bed with us (which, fyi, we never do...that just tells you how bad this week has been, sleep-wise.). About an 1 1/2 later, around 11:30, he shot straight up, screaming. Yelling. Hitting, kicking, not to be consoled at all...by anything...
all we could do was lay him on the floor (so he wouldn't hurt himself) and talk to him. Sometimes it seemed like our voices soothed him for a bit...until he started screaming again.
My mama-heart ached. I was sweating (so was he!). Adam, thankfully, was calm....at first he tried putting water on his neck, to wake him...but quickly we realized nothing was going to wake him until this was over. I prayed. Outloud. A lot. I have never felt so helpless & unable do ANYTHING for one of my kiddos...
Finally. Finally, he woke up. A had been asking him questions that, if he'd been awake, he would have answered happily...things like do you want chocolate ice cream? Do you want to watch a show? do you want to go buy a new train?? ...to which the little guy screamed "NO!!!!". This, mostly, is how we figured out he was asleep. At some point, my brain registered "He's having a night terror,"; my good friend Jill in D-town went through this with her little girl for awhile. That helped, a bit, knowing what was going on...
Somehow, he woke up. We snuggled on the couch and watched Pra**e Bab* for awhile (like Bab* Ein*stei*, but set to worship music). After he'd calmed, we asked him questions again, just to make sure he was now awake. What's that? An elephant. That's right!! What letter is that? It's an "E". (you get the idea.) A asked him if he wanted to go to bed. He did. In his bed. After my husband tucked him in, he went straight to bed and slept soundly the rest of the night.
I went to bed and cried.
My wonderful husband just held me and let me cry...although I'm pretty sure he was asleep within a minute of laying down.
I have never, in my experience as a mother, felt so at a loss to know what to do. When my babies cry like that, hurt like that, I want to fix it. Now. I'm pretty sure this is what every mother feels...
and there was nothing I could do, except give my little boy into the arms of his Heavenly Father, who loves him infinitely more than I ever could (which boggles my mind) and wait.
At least I'm not completely alone tonight, even if Adam is away.
He will never leave you, nor forsake you...
I cling to that tonight.