Working Mom

first off, I just want to tell all you moms out there that work outside of the home-you're amazing. I don't know how you do it, honestly...not just the working-plus-being-mom (and often wife, too!), but have the emotional strength to leave your kiddos all day to do it. I know that it's often not a choice, but a necessity, and I suppose that makes it easier....knowing you are helping (or totally responsible for) to put food on the table and a roof over your kiddos' heads. Still. Hard stuff. I've been blessed to be able to stay at home with my kiddos; and although I've always worked in some way, these last two weeks have been-harder. Great, really; just harder. Two weeks ago we made a lightening-quick trip to Durango so I could photograph a (way fun & beautiful) wedding. Adam drove down with me because we had to pick up our car (it'd been at the shop there for a month), and boy was I ever glad he did! He stayed at my in-law's house and watched the kiddos while I worked; even though he'd been invited to the wedding, too, it just worked out better that way. I was away from the baby for 3 feedings...I love my Med*la pump :) left at 8am the next morning, drove home...kids did great, although D.O.N.E. by the time we hit Denver. Which isn't so good, because we still had an hour to drive.

By the way, did you know a 3-month old can be slap-happy? True story. After we got the melting-down kids out of the car, we let Pax play in the sprinklers and I sat on the front porch with a very tired baby who wanted to just be held. Somehow, we started to play a little game...I'd take her plug (pacifier) out of her mouth quickly and say, "I got your plug!!" in a silly voice-she thought it was hilarious. Instant giggles. We're talking full-on, rolling, delightfully sweet little baby giggles. Which, coincidentally, her big brother thought was pretty funny. I had them both goin' pretty good...silly, tired kiddos!

The rest of the week didn't slow down much. My dad left last Wednesday for 10 weeks overseas, so we had a family dinner Monday night, MOPS on Tuesday, I had worship practice Tuesday night (and Adam had a test- thank goodness for grandparents!), Pax went with my mom for his "date" to Ta*o Bell with Grammy (minus Grandaddy for a few months) Friday night, and I was gone Saturday afternoon part of the evening, as well as all Sunday morning to sing. Thankfully, my husband is wonderful AND loves to see me do the things I love doing, along with being a super-hands-on father who adores time with his kiddos. But my kids are just "off" this week. Pax is super tired, super whiny, throwing tantrums...B just wants to be held. It finally hit me this morning that this is in reaction to Mama being gone so much the past 2 weeks. Pax threw a full-on fit for Adam Sunday on the way home, once he realized I was only putting him in the car and not coming home with them. Now, I know he needs to learn to deal with his emotions in more "constructive" ways than screaming and crying at his daddy. It still broke my heart, though.

It's been good for me to see this...to realize that, even as I work "out" more, I need to be very careful how much and when I schedule things. To keep my priorites in order : God first, husband second, kids next, THEN the job. Never really had to deal with being away when I worked in Durango. When I did worship in D-town, Adam and Pax were there, too, all Sunday morning. I saw them on and off; sometimes took Pax out of the nursery to hang out between services. And it was only 2 services, not 4. I tutored at the church, so Pax hung out with Daddy (and Benjie, or Mark, or whoever) for an hour and then we walked home together. When we were doing stuff with the youth group, he was with us for half the time-the kids loved him. And he loved them! I was never gone for more than a few hours; definitly not entire days. I'm trying hard to be extra patient today, to give extra snuggles and kisses-and I have that freedom, as I am home *most* of the time. Still trying to figure out this whole "working mom" thing. But what a great problem to have! It means I have wonderful kiddos who want to be with me-AND a way to help earn money for my family! As well as the luxary of being with my kids most of the time. Really, the best of both worlds-if I handle things right.