The Tale of a Dresser. Or, How to Make a Nesting Mama Happy.

             Once Upon a Time, there was a dresser. Just an ordinary dresser, given to a young couple by her parents when they no longer needed it. The young couple DID need it, and were grateful...and the young wife kept thinking to herself, "One of these days, I'm gonna re-do that dresser!"
                          There wasn't really anything wrong with it. It was just, well, a bit outdated.

Fast forward a few years. The young couple moved to a new state...and in the process of moving and then sitting in storage for 4 months, the dresser received a huge gash across its top.

(It's kinda hard to see in this picture, but look at the top left area...the gash was at least 1/4 in. deep, too.)

 Since the dresser now HAD to be re-done in order to be useable attractive at all  appealing as bedroom furniture; the wife began to plan. And the husband began to sand.

And the children were put in a cage until the project was completed (KIDDING!! we don't have a cage in our yard...just a little trampoline B got for her birthday from my parents. They love it.)

The wife tried to help with the sanding; but after a half-hour one afternoon which gave her some lovely contractions, she decided to wait on her husband to finish. So she waited each day while he was at work....rather impatiently, albeit silently. She was mostly just happy that the dresser was being sanded.

Finally, the wife went to that wonderful, big orange store and bought a paint sample can of grey paint for $2.47. This made the wife very, very happy.

                                 And then the painting began...which also made her very happy.

(I think this face is genetic...although she is MUCH cuter when she makes it!)

   The wife had been having some more lovely contractions that day; but decided that either she was just going to feel this way for the rest of her pregnancy, or the baby was really going to come early...in which case she'd very much like to have the dresser finished. So she painted. And then she and the husband grabbed some sand paper, and distressed the dresser a bit. And painted the once-bronzeish feet bright red, cause that's just fun.

 

      And then the husband muscled the dresser upstairs by himself somehow (mostly), and they put it in its place; and that made the wife very happy, too. The wife likes to think that the dresser is also pretty happy with it's new look.

Very happy, indeed.  

The Fog.

There's a time for Adam and I that starts pretty soon after that sweet, new, much-awaited bundle arrives that we affectionately refer to as "the Fog". I suppose if people are honest (which, for some strange reason, a lot of new mothers are not...) everyone goes through The Fog. It's that time when day and night blur into one long, long day; when our focus turns inward to our little family unit as we work to establish feeding schedules, sibling adjustments, healing of sore bodies, and try to find out what the new "normal" looks like with another little person in tow. It's a season of nursing, of catching a catnap whenever you can, of weeding out the things in our life that aren't the MOST important things in order to leave room for the things that have become the most important. It's a season of slow changes; of small, 2-degree adjustments made until things are back in alignment. The Fog took us both by surprise the first time around (but then, everything took us by surprise the first time around...including the baby). I knew-WE knew- things would change after Baby. Just how much they would HAVE to change in order to have a healthy marriage and a healthy family-that was the surprise. As was the small son who didn't sleep through the night consistently for a long, long, long, LONG time. I don't think I even realized how long the Fog lasted with Pax. With little B, we knew it was coming. The surprising thing to me this time was that THE FOG HAS LASTED JUST AS LONG. Silly me, I thought perhaps with the second one things would be gone quickly! (Actually, in a lot of ways it IS easier the second time around....like the part where we actually feel like we might have a little bit of an idea what we're doing now...)
I think the Fog is a good thing, really, in many ways...it forces us to focus more on our children (and our marriage) than we would if everything went instantly back to normal after I'd given birth. If we had stayed just as busy, just as committed to our outside endevors that sweet little bundle we waited so long for could've easily been shunted off to one side. The downside of the fog is, well, if you're not careful you can forget there's even a "normal" world out there that you're still part of. Because the fog can last a long time...for us, at least, it seems to last through the first year of life. It's not always the heavy, dense fog of the newborn days; it gets lighter and is more of a haze, I suppose (I sound like I'm describing San Francisco in the morning). The point is, I'm just starting to feel like we're coming out of the fog. Baby girl turned 11 months old last Sunday-although, really, I don't know how that happened since I just gave birth to her. I can see her changing from baby to toddler before my eyes. She's communicating more every day, plays with her brother until they both are breathless with giggles, stands on her own, climbs the stairs like it's her purpose in life, and has weaned herself off of all but 1 feeding a day.
That last part she did within the span of a week and no, I was not ready for it. But there's no arguing with an 11-month old who won't stay still long enough to nurse, and therefore doesn't eat enough, and therefore wasn't sleeping very well. I gave in and gave her a bottle before bed-the kid slept like a champ. Totally worth it.
and now? the fog is lifting. I can see the end her nursing days drawing nearer. And then what?
When you've had 2 kiddos in 27 months-although I know it's much farther apart than the babies of some of our friends-having your body "back" to yourself almost seems like a luxury.
I won't have to think about nursing schedules.
or pumping.
I can wear regular bras again (seriously....can't wait to go to VS!)
and finally lose this baby weight, as my body seems to think we're on the verge of a famine and it must hold onto every.ounce. in case I need to nurse until my baby is 5.
I can travel without my kids--not saying I have any plans, but the fact that I COULD is kind of fun.
And, let me tell you, photographing 6 to 8 hours for weddings this summer will be MUCH more fun when I'm not nursing.
My kids are actually both sleeping through the night, in the same room, successfully, 75% of the time. Which means that Adam and I are getting maybe 4 or 5 nights a week of solid sleep (well, at least when the kids aren't sick. or teething. or having nightmares...) Pretty sure between being pregnant (which does not equal sleep for me) and the babies themselves that hasn't happend in over 3 years.
I can see the fog lifting--and I'm so excited for this next year and all it holds for our little family. For the possibilities, the plans, the dreams God's given us to chase in 2011... just as excited as I am to celebrate Christmas with a 3-year-old who GETS it this year and an 11 month old who thinks paper is the coolest thing since sliced bread, and will probably spend all morning shredding wrapping paper with great joy while ignoring the actual presents.
I truly am thankful for the fog, and the opportunity it's given us to focus so very much on our little family. but I'm even more thankful to see what's waiting on the other side of it.

Lady in Waiting

yup, that's me right now...and guess what? I am very, very bad at waiting. Always have been. I was born two weeks early-should've tipped my mom off when both of the other two came three days late. I. Am. Not. Patient. Although I have gotten better. Prayed God would develop patience in me several years ago...then I found out I was pregnant with #1 (who says God doesn't have a sense of humor??). My husband, a MUCH more patient person than I am, gives me a hard time because occasionally I burn things in the oven...because I cooked it on broil, not bake. And then forgot about it. Guess what? I don't like to wait! He cannot understand this. Drives him nuts. Which probably means that I am driving him nuts right about now...I'm what I like to affectiatly call " uber-pregnant " right now. 39 weeks tommorow..my due date is a week from today (no, I don't understand that, either), the 20th. Adam starts school the 19th. hurry up, hurry up, c'mon, kid, just come out already!! I actually thought I WAS in labor Monday night...sigh. Well, at least Adam and I got to play Wii for awhile while we waited to see if it was THE REAL THING. And guess what? I'm pretty good, even during contractions! For those of you who care to know, I'm progressing... about 3 cm dilated, somewhere a bit over 50 % effaced, baby's head is at -2 and getting lower (pretty sure by the second...but that could be just me overreacting to the 90 million times I pee a day), everything is soft and ready to go, had some promising signs of imminent labor...just no baby yet. I know, I know, I still have a week to go...and every day she's in there is another day for her lungs to develop, her organs to mature...I would just LOVE it if I didn't have to call Adam out of a chemistry lab to take me to the hospital. Or if he didn't have to worry about studying his notes for the next day's quiz while I'm in the hospital. What can I say? I was spoiled the last time...my hubby got to be home for a full week, no worries. Lord, give me patience...wait. Is that the right thing to pray? At least help me not to drive my family(and myself!) crazy before this baby comes.

A few more belly pictures...

Here's the belly between 30 & 31 weeks...that's 7 1/2 months, for those of you who haven't been pregnant...a little less than 10 weeks to go!! The crib is up, the clothes are getting washed and put away, the list of last minute things needed for nursing and diapering is coming together...Adam and I are pretty sure we're about to get our world rocked by 2 kids. I'm focusing more and more on the birth, which is actually my favorite part of the whole pregnancy (because then you get to see that little peanut!!) and on getting prepared for it, physically and mentally, so that I can do the best that I can...what that means is a work in progress I'm sure i'll share during the next couple of monthe! I would love to have a drug-free birth this time, but am open to epidurals if need be. As my mom has said in the past-you don't get a medal for doing it drug free. It's just something I'd like to experience. Soooo...it's getting closer! There is a possibility I'll have to be induced a bit early, if I have low fluids again as I did with Pax. Ultrasound the beginning of Dec. to see how my levels are.


,

oooohhh, baby!

I've heard before that each pregnancy is very different from the next...ohhh, boy, is it true for me! It's crazy, really, how different this little girlie is than her brother. Pax was harder on me hormonally...this one is much harder on me physically. Not sure which is worse. Very thankful that I didn't have the double whammy of BOTH being hard at once! I don't remember Pax dropping until maybe a week or two before he came...she dropped about 2 weeks ago, which is nice for breathing and eating purposes, of course, but extremely uncomfortable...and since I'll only be at 30 weeks this Thursday....well, let's just stay I'm already starting to waddle a bit. Not the most attractive walking I've ever done. Sleeping has been...awful until the last 2 nights because, as we all know, when they drop, you pee. a lot. But lavender oil is one of my new best friends!! I've had crazy heartburn (didn't you all want to know that?? I know. you love it when I share!) which I had all of twice with P...tums are like candy right now. And lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions, starting about the time she dropped...as well as some real contractions, which have made me slow waaaay down. Which is very, very hard for me to do because, well, although I don't mind asking for help I HATE feeling like I can't do things I think I should be able too; or even keep the same level of activity I did with my first pregnancy. It's also made me a bit more focused on my weight than I like to be, although I haven't gained as much weight this time. I know that the baby comes first...I know that I'd do anything to make sure she's safe, healthy, and doesn't come too early. And I will. Gaining weight just isn't my favorite thing (like it's anybody's favorite thing?) and so when my activity level is restricted, I do tend to think about it more. My focus easily taken off what is truly important (gaining enough weight for a healthy baby) by my own selfishness. I don't look any more pregnant with this one than I did with Pax, although at 7 1/2 months I have had some people ask if my morning sickness is almost over (ha!). This makes me want to carry around a picture of me from before I was pregnant just so I can show people that yes, I really AM preggo and not just fat. A never-ending battle for almost every woman I know, this weight issue...I long for the day when my self-image is a reflection of God's image of me, and not of my own media-warped brain. sigh. sorry. This was supposed to be a blog about the funny and not-so-funny differences between my two pregnancies. But now my very tired preggo body just wants to go to sleep...and so I will go put lavender oil on my foot (a new, rather hippie-ish world of essential oils we're discovering...but they are AMAZING! called doTerra.) and sleep beautifully all night. Thank You, Lord, for the healthy little girl growing inside me...give me clarity, patience, and good rest as I face these last 10 weeks!

My God is so GREAT...

...so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do! This has been running through my head for the past few hours...with the hand motions (ahh...the joys of teaching preschoolers! hand motions to EVERYTHING...right, Jinny??). I just have to tell you this awesome story, but it'll take some background, so hang on. It's good.
For those who don't know, my sister Erica died 7 years ago last June (no, that's not the good part. duh.). It was very sudden, about a month after I finished high school; she was 24 and super healthy. What we DIDN"T know was that she also had a genetic clotting factor called hyperhomosystemia. It causes your body to make more homosystine than it usually would; if your levels are too high, you get blood clots. Combined with the birth control pills she took for bad cramps, it caused a blood clot in her leg which broke off and went straight to her heart. She died very quickly..it was devastating. After the fact, we were all tested for the gene-I have it, my mom has it, my brother has it, my dad has it. Double whammy in the genetic pool. So. What does this mean? I take prenatals all the time, whether preggo or not, because they contain the right mix of B-6, B-12 and folic acid to keep my homosystine levels at a safe range naturally, no drugs needed. Too high=blood clots, too low=too much bleeding. When I became pregnant with Pax, I became adamant about trying to control my levels naturally as long as I could (pregnancy alone has a greater risk for clotting, and we weren't sure what my risks for miscarriage would be with this disorder). I have a good friend with the same blood issues; her doctor immediately put her on blood-thinners for her entire pregnancy (which involved a needle every day...yucky). My doc was great about it, let me take the pre-natals plus extra B-6, B-12, and folic acid, and tested my blood levels each month. They went up a bit, but stayed in the safe range and I was able to control my homosystine levels naturally throughout my whole pregnancy. So, this time, same thing, new doc...and I prayed. I prayed that not only would my levels stay low and to not have to do shots, but that God would somehow REMOVE this issue from my DNA. See, I know my God can do cool stuff like that. I started on the extra pills, and after my first blood test....my doctor thought I had LOW homosystine issues because of the numbers. I stopped taking the extra pills, just to see what happened (too low is bad, too). They stayed low. After my Doc visit today...THEY ARE STILL LOW!! My doctor actually called them "remarkably low", as in, "I don't know why they are so good...with this factor they should have at least gone up a little." But MY GOD!! He has the power to create worlds, calm storms, and change DNA! Now, I haven't gotten a new genetic screen yet...but I believe my all-powerful God is working to heal my body; I see the proof in the numbers, the doctor is surprised...and I know that my God cares enough for me as His child that He listens to my prayers and answers them. Even in things that seem too big (or to small?) to be possible. Won't you celebrate with me?? It shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't be able to stop all the vitamins and keep my numbers low...especially when pregnant. Last time it took extra supplements just to keep them in a healthy range. But My God is so Great!!! And my numbers are "remarkably low!!" (see? told ya it was worth the read!)

Cravings

I'm having the cravings of a 4-year-old. Yesterday it was french fries and ranch dressing (ok, so maybe that one is more like Benjie than a 4 year old...). Today it was macaroni and cheese with cut-up hot dogs. A candy bar earlier this week. Doughnuts (which my brother supplied without knowing when he and my sister-in-law moved out...although I don't think that one stayed put too long). And the thought of coffee basically disgusts me most days. oh, to be pregnant and hungry. This is NOT normal. Except for the fries part...but that usually goes with some Cukoos' wings. (MMmmmmm...Cukoos'...) And I'm proud to say, with the exception of the mac n' cheese with hot dogs, I've restrained myself and dodged most of the craving minefields. (And I did make the mac myself....couldn't quite bring myself to feed my pregnant body (or my son) all that processed cheesy goodness that comes in the blue box) What is it about pregnancy that makes us (or at least me!) want to eat anything and everything we usually wouldn't? I didn't really do the craving thing too often with Pax. With my first, I mostly craved hot sauce and chocolate. So normal for me, except I wanted to drink buckets of salsa...with the occasional burger thrown in. This one...AHHHH!! most days I want to avoid all "healthy" food (salads, fruit, etc.) and simply eat nachos with the occasional doughnut thrown in (or on top, whatever). I feel like I'm constantly fighting with this little 4-year old inside me : " EWWWwwww. Why do I have to eat that?? I don't LIKE tomatoes (or spinach, or sweet potatoes...you get the idea.) I want mac n' cheese!! yea, mac n' cheese with HOT DOGS!!" "You can have mac n' cheese, but you have to eat this salad first. You'll love it, just try it!" "EWWWWW!! Noooooo!" "Eat it, or no mac n' cheese!" (pouting)...."FINE. EWWW...this is so gonna make me sick!! (drama, drama drama)".
Not that I would actually ever HAVE that discussion with my child...he would just eat or wait till next time. But. A pregnant woman cannot skip a meal, especially a raveneously hungry one deep in her second trimester...Adam asked me the other day if I ever felt like all we did was eat. Yup. Especially right now. But is that a bad thing?? So much good food...so few weeks until eating turns into grazing because this kiddo is taking up too much room...if I can only dance carefully around this minefield, only setting off the SMALL ones, OCCASIONALLY--I am not one of those genetically blessed pregnant women who gane 25 pounds no matter what I eat. Willpower...another tricky concept when you're deep in the second trimester...anyone got a slice of cheesecake??

Potty time!

Some proof that potty training is TRULY happening...woohoo!! Adam took pax to the potty last night after dinner, and took some pictures of the big event, as well...

Hmmmm....this book looks perfect for potty time....is that Ernie??

It IS Ernie! I loooove reading on the potty!

Yes, we like to take embarrasing pictures of our son. It's all part of being a parent in the digital era...on the preggo side of things, Monday was my last day running with this little peanut. I was hoping to make it to 6 months, but it's just getting toooo uncomfortable. I don't know how women run into their 7th and 8th months! I'm pretty glad I made it this far...with Pax, I was so sick the first 4 months I was lucky if I did ANY sort of exercise. By the time I was feeling better, I'd lost so much cardiovascular strength...well, let's just say that I did the best I could. I was really enjoying running with this one...but biking and swimming will have to take over instead. How do the superwomen do it??? 17 weeks...not too bad, I suppose. Adam starts school the 24th, I start daycare next week for 2 little girls...we've had all this time, and now everthing seems to be coming up super fast! crazy!